News and happenings for, by, about and affecting the LGBT Valley.
Project of Community Link, Inc: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Service Organization.
EST. September 1995
Community Link Projects
Gray Alliance is a group for LGBT seniors, and we get together twice a month for social functions.
We have a potluck the final Sunday of each month at the First Congregational Church Fireside Room from 2-4 pm. It’s located at 2131 N Van Ness In Fresno. Please note that although we’re using a church facility, Gray Alliance has no religious affiliation.
The second Wednesday of the month at 6 pm we meet at different restaurant. Here are the next few restaurants we’re going to:
August 14 Logan’s Roadhouse 7507 N Blackstone Fresno (change from previous announcement)
September11 Golden Restaurant 1135 N Fulton Fresno
October 9 Luna’s Pizzeria 349 Pollasky Clovis
If you have any questions, please feel free to call John Richardson at 559-260-1565. Hope to see you soon!
Youth Alliance News August 2019
The month of August has arrived with its triple-digit heat! Luckily, the air conditioner in the Fireside Room, at the Big Red Church, works great! Several of our LGBTQ Youth Alliance members walk, ride their bikes, or skate to group, so when they arrive, they’re warm! Thankfully, our group leader, Rachel, AKA Banana, arrives a half-hour early and gets the air conditioner going, so we can meet in comfort! Yay, Banana!
Recently, Banana lead a discussion about what it’s like for our youth to vacation with their family. Several of the youth talked about how uncomfortable they feel in public. So when they go to the beach, for example, they have trouble relating to other beach-goers and they have trouble blending in, which they feel they need to do in order to be safe. They also have to deal with their parents’ reactions, which could be protective and supportive, or embarrassed by their children. All in all, most of our youth would rather stay home than deal with public environments.
Our youths’ problems in public often carry over to school. We were joined recently by our Grand Poobah, Jeffery Robinson, who was asking questions about how our youth feel in school and how they deal with criticism and harassment. His questions were pertinent to our youth because the fall semester starts in a few weeks!
Some of our youth have opted to use home schooling in order to meet their education needs rather than attend public schools. For those who do attend public schools, they report that they endure harassment from other youth on a daily basis. They get asked a lot of personal questions, which are often accompanied by a sense of judgment, such as being asked about their sex or gender, or they have to tolerate negative comments about their clothing options. One of the outcomes of our discussion was that our youth agreed that they feel accepted in our Friday night youth group and they’re glad it exists!
We save the last Friday of the month for our world-famous potluck! Last month, we had a special surprise when Lorelei’s grandma supplied all the food and drinks for a birthday celebration for Lorelei! We had more food and drinks than ever! And, of course, the noise level was off the chart! Many thanks to Lorelei and her grandma for the birthday extravaganza!
The Fresno LGBTQ Youth Alliance meets on Friday nights, at 7 PM, in the Fireside Room of the First Congregational Church (The Big Red Church), located at 2131 N. Van Ness, in Fresno. We welcome any and all LGBTQ youth and their allies, ages 14-25, to join us on Friday nights! Check out our Facebook page for reminders about the group! We usually post a reminder about the group meetings on Friday mornings! Just go to our Facebook page, “Fresno GLBTQ (yes, in that order) Youth Alliance,” to check it out.
NEWS FROM THE LIVING ROOM
Summer is almost over and the fall season brings important events for The Living Room (TLR), A Project of WestCare, CA, but before I get into them I need to remind everyone what we are about and the services at TLR.
TLR began operations in 1996. 1996 was a time when there were little or no services for those with HIV and unfortunately, people were dying quickly once they were diagnosed. Those diagnosed had nowhere to go for support among their peers, no place to go to to talk with someone else who was in the same place. Several gay men, among them Jules Mastro, our founder, decided to get together for a friendly meeting just to talk and they started meeting at each other’s homes. It did not take long before the size of those get together's to become large and require more space. They met at the Center for Non-violence for a while but it became obvious as the group grew more space and services were needed. With the financial help of a Catholic nun TLR was founded. Over the years it grew and at one point in time over 300 individuals enrolled in services and hundreds of others accessed other services like the pantry, lunch program and other supportive services.
In 2003 Jules retired and The Living Room merged with WestCare, CA. Also around that time the tide began to turn for those with the virus. Medications became available to all people infected and people began living longer healthier lives. Now in 2019 being HIV+, while still a challenging disease with extreme consequences, if not treated, people are living those longer, healthy, productive years. Many have gone on to become professionals like teachers, lawyers and even doctors. Bravo for them!
However, that doesn’t mean that we have cured the virus or have it 100% in check. Unfortunately, the rate of new infections have been rising in recent years and it is clear that the prevention message is not reaching everyone. In order to try to extend the reach of TLR we have expanded some services.
We test for HIV and HCV daily. All tests are free and confidential and you can either walk in our front door at 901 E Belmont to see if we can test you on the spot or you can call us at 559 486 1469, Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 4:00pm to arrange an appointment. If you are diagnosed as preliminary positive we will immediately start the process for further testing and medical care. The sooner you are in care the sooner you can hopefully get your virus in control.
In an effort to further support the needs of our community we have support groups to help each person work on individual issues such as substance abuse, gender identity issues and of course HIV. On Monday evenings we offer an AA group, it is an open meeting held at our location from 5:30PM until 6:30PM. All are welcome and you can find the support needed to remain clean and sober whether you are struggling with alcohol or drug related addictions.
We also offer an open LGBTQ meeting lead by a licensed professional. This meeting is held every Tuesday from 1:00PM until 2:00PM and the focus in being a member of the LGBTQ community and the issues you may encounter.
The third group is only for those who are HIV+ and it also is supportive in nature and allows for sharing of the multiple issues that an infected individual deals with daily. With group permission we will include a spouse, partner, friend or family member to join in to learn about living with the virus, dispel myths surrounding the virus and ways to help someone who is diagnosed with it.
All of these groups have the goal of helping those in our community learn how to protect themselves and loves avoid becoming positive or learn to live healthy with it.
Among the continuing HIV services are the possibility, if you qualify, of short or longer term housing, case management, social events, and our lunch program. Come down on Tuesday or Thursday at noon and join us. Lunch begins at 12:00PM and the last lunch is served at 12:50PM.
So, the history lesson and some education about continuing services at TLR is complete. Onward to what we are doing this fall to help insure continuation of services.
This year marks our 8th year of the annual Fresno AIDS Walk. This year it will be held again at Woodward Park on October 19th. We need you to come join us to help plan the event. The future meetings for the Walk are August 14th, August 28th, September 11th and September 25th. October meetings will be announced at a later date. Meetings are held at THE Living Room, 901 E Belmont, Fresno.
We need the help and support of the Fresno community to make this event exciting and fun, as well as getting the message out that HIV is alive in well in Fresno. Join us at the meetings help us make the event even better. Right now we need cases of water and healthy snacks for that day. Become a vendor, set up a table to give information about your organization or business, there is no charge unless you are selling a product. Unfortunately food vendors are not allowed. This year Fresno County Department of Public Health will be performing HIV testing during the event and Walgreens will be administering flu shots, both are free.
We will again be hosting Art for AIDS, this year the event will be at Common Space, on the Fulton Mall from 5:00PM until 8:00pm on Thursday, October 3rd. The event is free and we will have some snacks on hand to curb those hunger pangs while you walk around the gallery. You are all invited to join us and we would love to have more pieces to display. If you would like to make a donation of art work, pottery, jewelry or crafts please give us a call. We will even go pick the piece up from you.
Some of our AIDS Walk teams are creating their own fundraising events so be on the lookout for them, go support them. Watch out for Drag Bingo coming soon!
We also want to announce and thank Chukchansi Casino. We were chosen to be one of the recipients of their “Wheel of Cash” donation event! Exciting for us, we could win up to a million dollars! Wouldn’t that be amazing? Our date to spin the wheel is October 25, we will keep you informed about the time.
We want to thank everyone for the support we have and still receive, without it we are nothing. If you have any questions about future events or for testing please call us at (559) 486–1469.
Know your status!
Be safe, be well!
Well, it's that time of year. Summer has hit the Valley, and we know what that means....KAMPOUT! Yes, it's just a few weeks away. If you are like me, you can't wait to get up the hill, out of the heat, and sit by the fire enjoying the beautiful weather.
The Kampout Committee has been busy since last year’s Kampout, working on bringing you another fantastic weekend, and I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.
This year’s theme is Kampout Goes to the Circus. Yes, there will be bearded “ladies” and strong “men”. The carnival, the midway...we just ask that no clowns due to legitimate fears that some have. As always, we will be having a contest for decorating your site, and we can’t wait to see what you clever kampers come up with. Compete by yourself...or with a group...have a lot of fun and win some great prizes.
Kampout will once again be held at our alternative site, which is just across the road on the left of Texas Flat Campground. Texas Flat is closed for the 2019 season, but we are fortunate to have a beautiful site for Kampout.
Kampout is, as always, the weekend after Labor Day...this year Sept. 6-8. The cost of the weekend is $40 per kamper. This covers your kampsite, 2 beer busts, the Progressive Koctail Party, Saturday dinner, 2 breakfasts, and much, much more.
You can relax, or join in all the fun and games that are planned throughout the weekend...and win prizes!! We have the Needle in the Haystack contest, the Yacht Regatta, and the always popular Kamptown Races. Don’t forget the fabulous Kampstravaganza Show on Saturday night. We encourage everyone to participate in this fun show...and compete for Kampout King and Kampout Kween.
Camping in the Sierras can cost over $20 a night just for a campsite. Kampout costs just $40 for the whole weekend...it is definitely the best bargain for your entertainment buck.
We want to advise you, that because we are on private property, there is no garbage service. Be prepared to “pack it in, pack it out”. Private campfires will be allowed only if they are in an above ground (backyard type) pit. You must also have a fire extinguisher, water bucket and shovel. All dogs must be on a leash at all times. This is for everyone’s safety.
So, mark your calendars. We hope to see you all at Kampout!
For more information, see our website www.kampoutfresno.com which has all the information you could want...or check out our Facebook page www.Facebook.com/KampoutFresno.
THE SOURCE LGBT+ CENTER YOUTH LEADERSHIP ACADEMY RETURNS FROM SERVICE TRIP TO ECUADOR
Group socialized, trained, and learned with local LGBT+ communities
Visalia, CA, July 29, 2019– The Source LGBT+ Center’s Youth Leadership Academy returned last week from a service, educational, and cultural exchange trip to Ecuador. The group stayed at the Latitude Foundation*, in Otavalo, Ecuador (about an hour and fifteen minutes north of Quito, the capital).
Nick Vargas, Director of Development at The Source, said "The Source LGBT+ Center has a youth leadership academy for people ages 16 to 23. It's a 6-month program that meets twice a month. During sessions the participants go through modules on LGBT+ history, public speaking, advocacy, personal finance, slam poetry, and other topics of use to young leaders. In addition, they complete a class project around health care access. This year, The Source received a donation for travel. Executive Director Brian Poth and I chose Ecuador because we know two Visalians, Gwyn and Maggie Reniers, who have a non-profit hotel that hosts service-groups. Plus, recently, same-sex marriage was made legal in Ecuador. While there, the class worked with the local LGBT+ community, as well as provided needed school supplies to the youth in Ecuador. School is not free there, and supplies can be very expensive. Every participant, including the chaperones, were "packing for a purpose" with back packs, pens, pencils, and other school supplies.”
Vargas continues, “For most of the academy, it was the first time on a plane and the first time leaving California. Brian and I are using this as the final education piece of this year’s academy to show students what it is like to travel internationally and interact with a different culture. We expect to make the international travel component an ongoing part of the youth leadership academy.” Applications will be taken for the next class in September. www.thesourcelgbt.org
The group who traveled to Ecuador includes Max Smith, Briauna Guerrero, Raquel Lorenz, Kristen Loya, Jared Rubio, Joshua Sanchez, Rory Summers, Ruben Vela, and Karigan Wann. The Source LGBT+ Center staff are Brian Poth, Nick Vargas, Dean Jackson, and Edwin Gomez.
Members of the Leadership Academy are available for interviews regarding their experiences in Ecuador, and their participation in the Youth Leadership Academy. Contact Brian Poth or Nick Vargas at the emails or phone number listed below to make arrangements.
If you would like more information about this release, please contact:
Brian Poth, Executive Director, at Brian@thesourcelgbt.org, or at 559 429 4277,
Nick Vargas, Director of Development, at Nick@thesourcelgbt.org, or 559 429 4277,
Katia Clark, Chair of the Board of Directors, at firstname.lastname@example.org or
Jim Reeves, Community Liaison, at 559-284-1819 or email at email@example.com
*The Latitude Foundation, http://latitudefoundation.org
MODESTO DENIES PERMIT FOR STRAIGHT PRIDE EVENT
On Friday, August 9, 2019, the City of Modesto, CA, denied a request for a controversial Straight Pride event to be held at a city park in Modesto. Modesto authorities cited security concerns, a conflict with reservations for the use of a city park, and lack of liability insurance.
The Straight Pride event was scheduled for August 24, 2019, at Graceada Park, in Modesto. City officials did agree to resume consideration of the event at a different location if the organizers agree to reserve the location and can provide proof of insurance by Tuesday, August 13, at 5:00 PM.
MOM WHO SUED TRANS DAUGHTER FOR TRANSITIONING IS TAKING HER CASE TO THE SUPREME COURT
Her teenage daughter was legally emancipated and living on her own, but she says she should have been able to deny her child medical care.
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com
By all accounts, Anmarie Calgaro was hardly a model mother. That hasn’t stopped her from trying to make life harder for her daughter – and other teenagers with abusive or neglectful parents.
Calgaro’s transgender teenage daughter moved out, put herself through high school, handled her own finances, and was legally emancipated when she started to transition with the support of her school, case workers, and doctors. Calgaro sued, saying that as the parent she still had the right to medical decisions for her daughter and she didn’t approve of the decision to start the process.
GAY COUPLE SUES TRUMP ADMINISTRATION FOR REFUSING THEIR DAUGHTER AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP
Both dads are American & they're both on their daughters' birth certificate. That would be enough for a straight couple, but it's not for a gay couple.
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com
A gay couple is suing the State Department for refusing to recognize their daughter as an American citizen.
Derek Mize and Jonathan Gregg filed a federal lawsuit against the State Department because they are being forced to go through a lengthy process to get an American passport for their daughter Simone, who was born to a surrogate in England with the help of an anonymous egg donor.
OPENLY GAY JUDICIAL NOMINEE APPROVED BY THE SENATE
On July 31, 2019, the Senate approved the nomination of Mary Rowland to the District court of the Northern District of Illinois. Rowland is the first LGBT judicial nominee made by Donald Trump. But LGBT legal groups view her confirmation as bittersweet since most of Trump’s judicial nominees have demonstrated anti-LGBT sentiment. In all, the Trump administration has gotten more than 140 judges confirmed by the Senate. Rowland is the only out LGBT individual, and all of the 140 nominees have been White.
MAYOR GOES ON A RANT AGAINST LGBT EDUCATION
On Tuesday, August 6, 2019, Alfonso Cirulli, the mayor of the town of Barnegat, New Jersey, went on rant against LGBT education legislation that was passed in New Jersey. Cirulli urged residents to pressure the governor, Democrat Phil Murphy, to reverse the education law. Cirulli’s remarks have drawn headlines across the country as he called the LGBT movement “an affront to almighty God” and stated that “the government has no right to teach our kids morality.” The law, which was passed in January, is similar to a law in California, mandating that students are taught LGBT history. It also requires education about people with disabilities.
MIKE PENCE ADDRESSES HATE GROUP
On Wednesday, August 7, 2019, LGBTQ Nation reported that Vice President Mike Pence recently addressed the Alliance Defending Freedom, a group that has been involved in major fights to overturn LGBTQ equality in the courts. Pence complained about the criticism he’s received for his anti-LGBTQ comments. When asked how he handles the criticism, Pence touted the importance of prayer. He also said that it is important to forgive people for the sin of caring about equality and social justice.
PASTOR WHO STOLE OVER A HALF MILLION DOLLARS FROM AIDS CHARITY SAYS HE'S "ENTITLED TO IT"
He allegedly scammed over $630,000 and spent the money on lavish vacations, dinners at fancy restaurants, and mammoth bar tabs
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com
Rev. Reginald Williams, a Bronx pastor and president and CEO of Addicts Rehabilitation Center Fund and the Addicts Rehabilitation Center Foundation, scammed AIDS charities out of approximately $631,000 prosecutors say. And the supposed man of God says he’s “entitled to it.”
Williams helped himself to scads of cash meant for HIV positive drug addicts and spent it on lavish vacations to the Caribbean complete with massive bar tabs and expensive dinners.
Lingerie brand Victoria’s Secret has just reached a watershed moment. The company has cast its first out-transgender model for a photo shoot.
22-year-old Valentina Sampaio of Brazil will become the first trans model to grace the pages of the famed catalog, sporting the VS Pink line, the company’s athletic brand.
“Never stop dreaming,” Sampaio said in celebration of her casting via Instagram.
continue reading at Queerty.com
RECENT POLISH GAY PRIDE ATTENDEES WERE STONED BY PROTESTERS
Reposted from instictmagazine.com
Poland is becoming an increasingly hostile place for LGBTQ people.
Bialystok, Poland had its first gay pride, but the 1,000 people decorated in rainbow colors were unfortunately met with thousands of anti-LGBTQ protesters. And some were more violent than others. This is a far cry from Poland’s first pride which was in Parada Rownosci in Warsaw last year, attracting over 50,000 people and happening without any major incidents.
continue reading at instinctmagazine.com
HOW QUEER COMMUNITIES ARE CREATING "SOBER SPACES" FOR RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com
This morning Elton John published an Instagram post commemorating his 29 years of sobriety. His commemoration coincides with a renewed push within our community for sobriety and sober spaces as a way to welcome queer people recovering from substance abuse issues.
In his Instagram post, John wrote, “29 years ago today, I was a broken man. I finally summoned up the courage to say 3 words that would change my life: ‘I need help.’ Thank-you to all the selfless people who have helped me on my journey through sobriety. I am eternally grateful.”
HOW ABOUT GIVING UNTIL IT DOESN'T HURT?
Love and compassion are essential for the survival of the human race. If not for compassion, we might be extinct by now. It is not enough to simply feel compassion for someone; we need to show it. And, yet, giving care is precisely where so many of us get burnout.
Most of us have heard the phrase, “Give until it hurts,” right? What if there was a way of giving so that it did not hurt, did not drain us of energy, and did not leave us feeling used? How valuable would that be? That’s the million dollar question.
What makes things more difficult is that after we show compassion, other people who are hurting are drawn to us seeking comfort and understanding. They dump their problems on us with no thought to the stress and pressure they heap upon us. In their defense, they simply want to be released from their emotional suffering. However, it does us no good to become overwhelmed with the pain of others to the point that we become unable to function.
Therapists, social workers, massage therapists, and nearly anyone who works directly with patients in the healthcare field understand how emotionally draining it can be to empathize with the pain of those who are suffering. If practitioners of the human services want to keep their heads above water and not drown in the sea of hurting souls, they need to learn how to nurture themselves as much as they do their clients.
Okay, let’s get practical. Here are some techniques to help you avoid burnout. Firstly, you need to find a way to balance yourself emotionally. One way is to use imagery; you’d be surprised how this stabilizes your mood. There are numerous visualizations that you can do to aid you in your pursuit of stability and help center yourself. (Personally, my favorite is to imagine breathing in love from the source of life and breathing out compassion for the person you are helping. I like this particular technique because it is simple, and I can practice it anywhere. Best of all, I do not deplete my emotional resources because I am breathing in love from outside of myself. Therefore, I am less likely to get burned out.)
If you think back, I’m sure you can recall a few people who drained you of our energies. Like emotional vampires, they suck the joy right out of the party. Maybe it’s that gloomy coworker who always complains—about everything. You know the type: when you wish them a good morning, the response you get is, “What’s good about it?”
Maybe it’s the dreary roommate who won’t stop whining to you about all her problems. “Oh, I’ve had the worst day. You just won’t believe what happened to me today. I got this message, and I can’t believe how rude it was. I just can’t believe some people.” And on and on she goes, never growing tired of the sound of her own voice.
Perhaps it’s that spouse of yours who simply will not show you the least bit of appreciation. No matter how much love and dedication you put into the relationship, he takes it for granted. Would it kill him to give a compliment once in a while? There is about as much chance of him showing you gratitude as there is of him getting off the couch during a sports game. Fat chance!
Please keep one thing in mind—you cannot force someone to change. Caregivers quickly learn that although they can encourage someone to be happy, they cannot make that person happy. Compassion is not a tool of manipulation, nor is it a device for tricking someone to abide by your wishes and adopt your value system. If you truly have love in your heart, you will not try to impose your will on others. The best you can do is simply be your happy self, and others may follow your example.
While we are on the subject, compliments are one of the quickest and simplest ways to nurture someone. Try this at home: the next time someone walks through the door, say something nice. Act as excited to see that person as your dog is to see you when you come home. And if you live with yourself, then go across the street and compliment the neighbors. What? You haven’t even met them, yet. Well, it’s about time!
Remember to nurture yourself while you are nurturing others. Like a plant in your garden that requires water and sunshine, you also need love and compassion. As the plant absorbs nutrients from the earth, it also gives back oxygen to the atmosphere. You, too, can draw in love from the source of life and give back love to those around you. It’s a symbiotic circle of positive energy.
Something to meditate on today. You have a caring heart, and there have been countless instances when you have shown your compassion. Now it is time to take a moment to care for yourself. You need to feel validated just like everyone else. So if there is no one immediately around you to validate your worth, then give validation to yourself. Self-validation is a form of self-love.
Take a moment right now to think about all the things you value about yourself. Spend a few moments on this task. Compliment yourself on being a loving person. Keep in mind that a loving spiritual being created you. Therefore, you are also a loving spiritual being at your core.
MENTAL WELLNESS AND GUNS
Mental illness and gun violence became a big topic recently. Let’s open up that discussion. I have concerns that I will be killed by a person with a mental illness. And I have concerns that this individual will kill himself.
One of the three perpetrators in my rape purchased a gun. He posted on social media earlier this year that he purchased the gun. And he expressed in that posting that he is glad to live in Arizona where he is able to quickly and easily buy a firearm.
This man has also been hospitalized a lot because of problems with his mental illness. I had contact with his family who informed me of all these numerous hospitalizations and also that he has attempted suicide often.
This man knows that I have been speaking out about my sexual assault more and more so I can heal myself and help others that have been through this violence.
This individual indicated his outrage in a voicemail and in an email he sent to me about me speaking up. This is the same man who almost killed me in that rape on that horrific night. There was not enough evidence to get a successful prosecution though.
Here is the $64,000 question. How can I verify with public officials if this man was ever involuntarily hospitalized for his mental illness? That would prohibit him from owning a firearm. That is the federal law.
There are indeed many problems with proper reporting of red flags like this at the state levels. So this might be another situation where it all just falls through the cracks. I may never know.
Of course I have concerns about being shot. He tried once to kill me. Now he is very upset about me speaking up. And he has the gun. I have shared these concerns about this man with my family, my friends, the Phoenix Police, and in a courtroom hearing with a judge.
So I hope for the best. Just like so many of us across Arizona. And the United States. I hope this is not the day something happens with gun violence in my life.
But what else can I do at this very moment? And what can be done to protect him too? He has attempted suicide many times. And now he owns a gun.
The (Gabby) Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence wrote a report called Commonsense Solutions: How State Laws Can Reduce Gun Deaths Associated with Mental Illness.
In an Executive Summary in that report it reads that “Existing state laws do not do enough to remove access to guns from dangerously mentally ill people.”
Even if there was an involuntary hospitalization for my perpetrator’s mental illness; it does not matter if this guy bought his gun through the gun show loophole. There are no background checks with private gun sales in Arizona.
I’ve done my part. I’ve alerted as many people as I can. I was concerned about this man and his mental illness well before he had a gun…and now he does.
Health and wellness and guns should be about common sense. At the least a guy who has an extensive history of suicide attempts is very likely a danger to himself in owning a gun.
This wellness is brought to you by that guy with this bulletproof billet-doux for you. That loving guy who wants us to take care of each other is Ron Blake and he can be protected at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Your Intellectual Whore
"An effervescently gay
Disclaimer: Although the author of this syndicated column holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, the tongue-in-cheek advice given is for entertainment only and is not a substitute for therapy. Barbie responds to all emails...whether you deserve it or not. Send your questions to Uncle Barbie at:
Dear Uncle Barbie,
My sister and I are wondering about the etiquette of something in a new romantic relationship; namely, how soon may one inquire as to the exact moment of the significant other's birth? As you probably are aware, this piece of information (the hour and minute on the day and year of one's birth) is vital to preparation of the person's astrological chart. After all, it would be nice to be able as early as possible to get prepared for the probable compatibilities or incompatibilities one will experience in a new relationship as dictated by the "stars."
Signed, "Emily Post"
Hello Ms. Post,
How “Crafty” of the two of you to be brewing up an astrological chart for your new romantic relationship. And just in time for Valentine’s Day, too. (Of course, I don’t know if an astrologer, such as the two of you, would celebrate a holiday that is named after Saint Valentine. But who knows, maybe you’re spiritually eclectic.) Anyway, getting back to your question. I think that the timing needs to be just right. If you ask personal information about your partner’s birth on the first day, that will make him/her defensive (and maybe even a little turned off). On the other hand, you don’t want to wait too long into the relationship because then you may discover that you have been wasting your time with someone with whom you are incompatible. Hmmm, what to do? What would an herbal/healing witch, like me, do in a situation such as this one?
Let me look into my crystal ball and see if I can draw on some wisdom from the ancients. Hmmm, the images that I see in the crystal ball appear to be many faces with eyes peering back at me. The sense that I get for you is that there are too many people involved in your current romantic endeavor. Perhaps there are too many eyes watching what’s going on in your personal affairs. I think that it would greatly improve things if you were to proceed with your new relationship without the involvement of your friends. If your date senses that there are other people scrutinizing him/her, then your date may get spooked and back away. I’m sure you have heard of the phrase, “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” Well in this case, too many astrologers can spoil the brew.” (So to speak.)
Your question asked about etiquette. The simple fact is that nobody likes to be analyzed, classified, and categorized. And although you may not intend to pigeonhole your new partner, unfortunately he/she may end up feeling that way when all is said and done. What I suggest is that you wait until your new significant other is comfortable with you as a person. Then let him/her know that you are an astrologist (in other words, come out of the broom closet, honey). After that, ask your partner if he/she wants to have an astrological chart done. If the answer is “no,” then respect that. If the answer is “yes,” then you know that you have earned his/her trust. Make it an enjoyable experience that the two of you can share together, rather than doing the chart privately. That’s my idea of proper astrological etiquette.
As far as your desire to find out the compatibilities or incompatibilities early in the relationship, there are many different ways to reveal these things in addition to looking to the stars. My favorite way is to use a technique known as “gazing.” You simply have the person gaze at something for a long time (like clouds, a pool of water, a campfire, or simply the flame on a candle), and then have him/her tell you what he/she sees. Whatever is seen while gazing reveals personality traits that have been drawn out from the shadows of the person’s subconscious. Then you will have all the information you need to determine if the two of you are compatible as long term partners or not. Just remember to be open about what you are doing, and inform the other person as to what is going on. Honesty and clear communications are the very best form of compatibility you can build in any relationship. As the ancient sage states, “Do as ye will, lest ye harm none.”
Blessed Be, Barbie
LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Old problems keep coming back to haunt you. You really need to solve these problems especially with family. Then you can really enjoy yourself.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
You need a break and you are going to get one. You are doing well so let others know it and you can handle anything that comes up now.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Work is very challenging during this period. Your upbeat attitude will get you through it. You are very appealingat this time.
CAPRICORN (Dec 27 - Jan 19)
You are going through a transformation here. Hard work and some tweaks here and there will open up a new world for you.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You have just come out of a stressful period and lack a sense of direction. Write down some goals to achieve and everything will fall into place.
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
No easy answers here. If you have a goal in mind stick with it even if it's tough. You may ruffle some feathers. Better them than you.
ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Creative ideas and wanderlust are in store. You accomplish a lot here including some romace in your life.
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
After a busy month you are set to do everything you want. You're very magnetic here and others really are paying attention to you.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Loved ones are really starting to get on your nerves. Use this time to do some physical cleaning of the house. Then maybe your love life will blossom.
CANCER (June 21 - July 20)
You rock here. Spending too much maybe. It's worth it to pamper yourself here. It will liven your life up.
LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Its all about you. You have had energy, a glow about you and you have communicated well. Time to enjoy yourself again and again.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Its your turn to get the ball rolling and you do. Improve those things in your life that you think needs attention.
Not To Be Missed
Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Francisco
In case you’re interested, Elton John added 25 additional concert dates to his previously sold-out American tour, titled, the Farewell Yellow Bick Road Tour. He’s performing in Las Vegas, at the T-Mobile Arena, on September 6 and 7, in Anaheim, at the Honda Center, on September 10 and 11, and in San Francisco, at the Chase Center, on September 13 and 15. The Las Vegas shows are pricey, in the $300 range. The LA and SF shows are more affordable, starting at $69. For more information, go to eltonjohn.com/tours, or contact your favorite ticket seller for tickets!
Ringo Starr is performing at the Greek Theatre, in Los Angeles, on September 1, 2019. Everyone knows he was the drummer for the Beatles, right? The Greek Theatre is located at 2700 N. Vermont Ave, Los Angeles, CA, 90027. Tickets for this event range from $40 to $165. For tickets, go to lagreektheatre.com or your favorite ticket seller!
Avril Lavigne will perform her Head Above Water Tour at the Greek Theatre, in Los Angeles, on September 18, 2019. She is known for songs such as Sk8er Boi, What the Hell, and I’m with you. The Greek Theatre is located at 2700 N. Vermont Ave, Los Angeles, CA, 90027. Tickets for this event range from $30 to $90. For tickets go to lagreektheatre.com or your favorite ticket seller.
The Beach Boys
The Beach Boys will perform at 5 PM and again at 7 PM at the Mountain Winery Amphitheater, in Saratoga, on September 8, 2019. Known for their vocal harmonies and early surf songs, they are considered one of the most influential acts of the rock era. The Mountain Winery Amphitheater is located at 14831 Pierce Road, in Saratoga, CA, 95070. Tickets for this event start at $50. For tickets, go mountainwineryamphitheater.com or your favorite ticket
Janet Jackson will perform at the Chase Center, in San Francisco, on Saturday, September, 21, 2019. Jackson is known for her sonically innovative, socially conscious, sexually provocative music, and her elaborate stage shows! The Chase Center is located at 300 16th street, San Francisco, CA, 94158. Tickets for this event start at around $70 and range up to $400. For tickets, go to centersanfrancisco.com or your favorite ticket seller.
Madera District Fair
The Madera District Fair is set for September 5-8, 2019. It’s a smaller version of the Fresno Fair! General admission for the Madera District Fair is $10! Concerts are free with general admission and will include Trace Adkins on the 5th, Loverboy on the 6th, and The
Commodores on the 7th, among others! The Madera District Fairgrounds are located at 1850 W. Cleveland Ave, Madera, CA, 93637. For tickets or information, go to maderafair.com.
Gloria Trevi will perform her Diosa De La Noche Tour at the Save Mart Center, in Fresno, on September 13, 2019. Trevi is a Mexican singer, songwriter, dancer, and entertainer. She is known for her lavish personality and recording style. The Save Mart Center is located at 2650 E. Shaw Ave, Fresno, CA, 93710. Tickets for this event start at $32. For tickets, go to savemart.centerfresno.org or your favorite ticket seller!
DRAG Bingo - Pride Panthers Coalition
Saturday, August 17 from 11:30 AM - 2 PM
Our Saviour's Lutheran Church
2101 N Fruit Ave, Fresno, CA 93705
Drag Bingo is an event you DON'T want to miss. There will be refreshments and adult beverages available for sale; as we escape into about two hours of food, fun, laughs and entertainment. Many great prizes; GRAND PRIZE: 32" Roku TV.
FAB REHAB Sundaze (21+)
Sunday, August 18 at 12 PM
716 E Olive Ave, Fresno, CA 93728
Get Unicorn CRUNK all day with great music and delicious specialty cocktails. Featuring our Bloody Mary and Red Beer Bar! Mimosa specials & more...
Disabled & Fabulous LGBTQ+ Group
Monday, August 19 at 10 AM
1250 Fulton St. Fresno, CA 93721
Peer-to-peer support group for disabled LGBTQ+ individuals. Groups will be on Mondays at the residential side of Common Space at 1250 Fulton St., Fresno, CA 93721.
For additional information, call/text us at (559) 325-4528 or email email@example.com.
Community Art Night!
Tuesday, August 20 at 6:30 PM
1250 Fulton St, Fresno, CA 93721
We have everything you need to make your next masterpiece, or just let off some steam in a creative way. Supplies include: coloring books, paper, pads, pencils, charcoal, canvases, paint, brushes, fabric paint, glue, colored pencils, crayons, markers, and so much more.
We work hard to be an all-inclusive organization. If you need any additional accommodations, or have any questions, please contact us.
FAB Fresno Presents Shady Lady Happy Hour - Leilani's Bday Party (21+)
Saturday, Sep 7 at 7 PM
716 E Olive Ave, Fresno, CA 93728
Come celebrate the Queen of Mean Leilani Price as she turns 19,648,362 years old! Doors open at 7pm! Happy Hour Drinks! NO COVER!!! Special guests performances at 830pm with Jacob Terry in the mix!
Reel Pride 30 Director's Club Preview Party
Wednesday, Sep 11 at 6 PM - 9 PM
Fresno Art Museum
2233 N 1st St, Fresno, CA 93703
Get a special sneak-peek of the films coming to #ReelPride30 at the Directors' Club Preview Party being held Wednesday, September 11th, at the Fresno Art Museum, 2233 N. First Street, beginning at 6:00 p.m 🌈🎥✨
This event is for Sponsors and Directors' Club level members and above.
Purchase, pick-up, or upgrade your membership passes at the door and enjoy a fun-filled evening with delicious tastings from our longtime festival partner, The Painted Table.
Friend's of Pride Fundraiser
Saturday, Sep 14 at 7 PM
1772 E Barstow Ave, Fresno, CA 93710
A fundraiser presented by Friends of Pride! All proceeds benefit the 30th Annual Fresno Rainbow Pride Parade and Festival. Tickets available at the door. This is guaranteed to be a sold out event. Arrive early to reserve your seats. All ages. Come for the food, stay for the variety show, presented by your favorite local entertainers.
Dinner begins at 7PM. Show 8:30PM. $15 Dinner and Show. $10 show only.
Me-Mosa Drag Brunch
Sunday, Sep 29 at 11 AM - 1 PM
The Grand Banquet Room at Fresno Breakfast House
2079 W Bullard Ave, Fresno, CA 93711
The movement has arrived Fresno!
Studio19 presents Me-Mosa “Drag Brunch designed for you”. Tickets are available online at www.memosabrunch.com
Sunday, September 29th 2019 hosted by Leilani Price with special guests Jianna De Leon and Bebe Waters. Located at The Grand Banquet Room 2079 W. Bullard Ave., Fresno CA 93711.
This is an all ages event, 21 and up to drink. VIP Tables are available for purchase.
Use promo code for $5 off your ticket.
Gender Non-Conforming Support Group
Saturday, August 17 at 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM
Merced Multicultural Arts Center
645 W Main St. Merced, CA 95340
A peer-led support group for gender expansive and questioning individuals. Trans led and facilitated.
All ages and identities welcome. Please join us if you are intersex, transgender, non-binary, agender, genderqueer or questioning! Family, friends and allies welcome at the facilitator's discretion.
Please join us at the MAC downtown. Enter through the back of the building, up to the third floor, the classroom floor. Look for the trans flag, all the way back, room 5.
The MAC has been extremely supportive of the Merced LGBTQ+ Alliance, and is a safe space at all times.
Queer Speed Friending
Sunday, August 25 at 6:30 PM
309 W Main St, Merced, CA 95340
Brought to you by the Merced LGBTQ+ Alliance. Come alone, or bring a friend! Happens the final Sunday of each month!
Straight Pride Counter Protest - PRISM
Saturday, August 24 at 11:30 AM - 4 PM
W Morris Ave, Modesto, CA 95354
Be a part of the change you want to see in this world, show that love knows no boundaries, and that we will not be silenced! We are organizing against the announced Straight Pride Event taking place in downtown Modesto, to stand in solidarity and peaceful resistance against the mockery of PRIDE, and all of the sacrifices it represents. The Straight Pride event is a thinly veiled political strategy of homophobia and intolerance, meant to intimidate marginalized people and reinforce the agenda of an administration that has legitimized hate. This is our opportunity to show how our diversity of culture strengthens us as a community, and to educate the public on the history and meaning of PRIDE. We will make it clear that such bigotry is not representative of who We are in Modesto, let's show the world our best!
Tuesday, Sep 10 at 7 PM
Tiki Cocktail Lounge
932 McHenry Ave, Modesto, CA 95350
$5 Bingo cards, or get six for $20!
All proceeds go to Central Valley Pride Center, providing groups, events, and supporting the LGBTQ community in the Central Valley.
7 pm: Free dinner **Thank you Momma Cantrell**
Downtown Modesto Pride
Saturday, Sep 14 at 11 AM - 11 PM
Modesto, CA 95354
Pride in Downtown Modesto. This event is free to the public. Come to show your support for the LGBTQ community, and most importantly, to have a great time!
KAMPOUT 2019: Circus
Sep 6 at 8 AM - Sep 8 at 5 PM
Texas Flat Campground, Oakhurst, CA
Ladies and Gentlemen and children of ALL ages (as long as that is over 21) Come one! Come all to this years' Kampout!
Sept 6 to 8th. $40 for the entire weekend full of games, two breakfasts, one dinner, two beer busts, a progressive cocktail party, and a show!
Trans March Oakland
Saturday, Sep 7 at 11:30 AM - 1:30 PM
Frank H Ogawa Plz, Oakland, CA 94612
Oakland is home to hundreds of transgender people specifically of color however, the city is overshadowed by San Francisco and its popularity around LGBT community based events.
This year Oakland will host its own trans march to create visibility and bring the community together in an attempt to have our own transgender movement and celebration.
We ask that you join us in marching from Oscar Grant Plaza to the lake area where we will join community on stage for a mini rally for Black Trans Lives and the Pride in the Park Ball.
The official After Party for Trans March Oakland will be 4:00 pm - 8:00 pm the same day. Priority passes will be given to those who are marching. 21+ Food and Drinks are provided.
10th Annual Oakland Pride Parade & Festival
Sunday, Sep 8 at 11 AM
Franklin Street, Oakland, CA 94612
Join us for Northern California's Second Largest Pride Parade + Festival on Sunday, September 8th, 2019.
Oakland Pride Parade + Festival is the East Bay's premier LGBTQI Community Celebration and Festival that includes more than six city blocks of music + art + food + fun! Boasting four separate entertainment stages, Oakland Pride welcomes talent from the Bay Area and beyond!
Transgender Resource Group
Tuesday, August 20 at 6:30 PM
We love the "T" in LGBT! Transcending Gender and Trans Parent Groups contain vital peer support, community, and resources for transgender and gender non conforming individuals as well as their families. We are here for you. For more information contact firstname.lastname@example.org or call 559-372-9665
Saturday, August 24 at 11 AM - 12:30 PM
The Source LGBTQ+ Center
A new support group for parents of LGBT+ kids. Led by Melissa Hudson Associate LMFT supervised by Bev Anderson LMFT. Meets every 3rd Saturday at The Source.
HIV Peer Support+ Social Group
Tuesday, August 27 at 6 PM
The Source LGBTQ+ Center
Peer Support+ Social group for LGBT+ people who are living with HIV/AIDS. Come for the resources, stay for the friendships :) For more information contact email@example.com.
Thursday, September 5 at 6 PM - 8 PM
The Fifth Quarter
3360 S Fairway St, Visalia, CA 93277
Join a vibrant and engaged network of young professionals. Ages 18 to 40 years old; or anyone with room to grow professionally. :)
Meet in the bar for networking, introductions and a short presentation by Bradley Rutledge, Source Board Member and business liaison. Optional dinner afterward.
Saturday, Sep 7 at 9 AM
The Source LGBTQ Center
Coffee. Talk. Purpose. Join us the first Saturday of the month for our first LGBT+ senior support group. Facilitated by Associate Marriage and Family Therapist Melissa Hudson #75287 and organized by The Source. Join us for snacks, coffee, and friends. With support, we can thrive together! For more info contact firstname.lastname@example.org
News and happenings for, by, about and affecting the LGBT Valley.
Project of Community Link, Inc: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Service Organization.
EST. September 1995