Issue IV, Volume XXIV, No. 280 | December 2018
News and happenings for, by, about and affecting the LGBT Valley.
Project of Community Link, Inc: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Service Organization.
EST. September 1995
Community Link Projects
Gray Alliance is a group for LGBT seniors and their allies, and we get together twice a month for social functions. We have a potluck the final Sunday of each month at the First Congregational Church, Fireside Room from 2-4 pm. It is located at the south end of the church campus at 2131 N Van Ness Blvd in Fresno. Please note that although we are using a church facility, Gray Alliance has no religious affiliation. The second Wednesday of the month at 6 pm we meet at different restaurants.
Here’s a list of the next three restaurants we’re going to:
December 12, Hino Oishi Japanese Restaurant, 3091 E Campus Pointe Dr , Fresno
January 9, Santa Fe Basque, 3110 N Maroa Ave, Fresno
February 13, Sweet Tomatoes, 7114N Fresno Ave, Fresno
If you have any questions, please feel free to call John Richardson at 559-260-1565 or Linda Schinkel at 559-356-7220. Hope to see you soon!
Youth Alliance News December 2018
By: David McGee
December is here with holiday decorations and crisp, cool nights! For those people who like the cold, this is one of those months they cherish! Our youth group has been small for this time of year, but we still manage to have loud, animated discussions, especially when it comes to politics and social issues! Yep! Our current group is socially savvy, which makes for some interesting discussions.
We took the Friday after Thanksgiving off so that everyone could give thanks in their own way. Most of our group members came back the following week to bemoan their holiday time. They said they were mostly bored and disinterested in their families’ holiday celebrations! Go figure!
At the beginning of December, our youth group members completed collages they had started last month in order to honor LGBTQ icons. They glued magazine clippings to poster boards and added written comments, quotes, or song lyrics. The project turned out to be impressive! Our Grand Poobah, Jeffery Robinson, collected the collages in order to add it them to his LGBTQ archive collection! Perhaps we’ll see photos of the collages on the News Link web page at some point in time!
Last week, the youth group attendees made their annual paper poinsettias/stars in order to decorate the meeting room. Rachel, AKA Banana, demonstrated how to fold and cut the pieces of paper that are connected to form the poinsettias/stars. With our low numbers of attendees, we didn’t get quite as many decorations made, but when we hung them on the fireplace mantle in the Fireside Room at the Big Red Church, they immediately made the room more festive!
We’re having our annual Christmas Potluck on December 21, 2018—the Friday before Christmas! We’ve asked the group members to reach out to their friends who usually attend the group in order to remind them about the party! We’ll have our usual foods, such as pizza, soda, chips and dips, and cookies! Banana promised to come up with something extra that will be interesting and delicious! J is going to supply the music! We plan to make it a pajama party, where everyone comes in pajamas! We’ll also have our annual White Elephant gift exchange, where everyone gets a number, picks a small wrapped gift from the pile of gifts that they each contribute, or steals gifts from each other when it comes to their turn! The White Elephant gift exchange always generates a lot of noise and a lot of fun!
The Fresno LGBTQ Youth Alliance meets on Friday nights, at 7 PM, in the Fireside Room of the First Congregational Church (The Big Red Church), located at 2131 N. Van Ness, in Fresno. We welcome any and all LGBTQ youth and their allies, ages 14-25, to join us on Friday nights! Check out our Facebook page for reminders about the group! We usually post a reminder about the group meetings on Friday mornings! Just go to our Facebook page, “Fresno
GLBTQ Youth Alliance,” to check it out!
We are hosting our first Qistory Meeting for the New Year. Tuesday January 15th at 6:00 at the Fresno Tower's Starbucks.
The goal is to make Qistory a working committee in preparation for an exciting oral history initiative in the spring. We are in the works of bringing Lavender Effect to train 15 members of our community as well as Fresno State students, staff and faculty in oral history. The goal will be to record 15 oral history interviews with queer elders living in Fresno and the Central Valley. These oral histories will be available to the public in the future.
Lavender Effect is an L.A. based LGBTQ+ Oral History and Videography Nonprofit dedicated to preserving the histories and stories of LGBTQ+ communities in L.A. They are serving as a mentor to us as we build our oral history group here. For more information about the great work that Lavender Effect does check them out here:
If you are interested in getting involved with Qistory and want to learn more about the oral history training, please join us at this meeting.
We are intending to make these meetings monthly so that we can get a large group of community members involved.
Picture re-posted from The Fresno Bee
HOLIDAY THANKS AND GREETINGS
The Living Room Staff
It is the Holiday Season and with it comes the expectation of Santa bringing gifts for children, time spent celebrating with families and friends making new memories and remembering good times past with those we have loved who have left this earthly existence.
While the world continues to spin and there remains concerns and problems, we at The Living Room wish to say thank you for the continuing community support and send our wishes to all for a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Joyous Kwanza, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad and whatever Holiday you may celebrate. We also wish you a healthy, happy, prosperous New Year.
Be safe, be well.
THE SOURCE LGBT+ CENTER NAMED NON-PROFIT OF THE YEAR
Tulare kings Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Recognizes Center
The Source LGBT+ Center, serving Tulare and Kings County, was honored to be chosen as Non-Profit of the Year by the Tulare Kings Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, in a ceremony held on Friday, November 30, 2018, in Visalia. Other finalist were CASA of Tulare County and AmVets Dept. of California. The winner was selected by a vote of the Chamber membership and committees.
“It is my privilege and my honor to accept this award on behalf of The Source LGBT+ Center. It is our promise to continue our work and be worthy every day of this recognition.” – Nick Vargas, Co-founder, past President of the Board of Directors, and Director of Development at The Source LGBT+ Center
The Source LGBT+ Center was presented the award by TKHCC President Carlos Mendoza and Vice President Olga Duran during Friday’s ceremony.
“We have the satisfaction of helping people. We have seen over 3,000 people come through our doors” in 2 ½ years of operations. Nick Vargas
The Source LGBT+ Center is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.
Leadership Academy is going great. Our participants have already met Supervisor Amy Shuklian, Head of Advocacy at The Trevor Project Sam Brinton, as well as learned about HIV Advocacy from the inspiring documentary about ACT UP entitled "How To Survive a Plague."
OVER THE EDGE
Visalia Over The Edge for The Source was our biggest fundraiser and community event to date. With over 450 donors and 1,100 donations this peer to peer fundraiser has brought over $96,000 to The Source's capacity campaign, programs, and services. We are grateful for this show of support as we move forward to our next phase of growth.
TRANSGENDER AWARENESS WEEK
Our Transprogram Coordinator for The Source, had a very busy Transgender Awareness Week. She spoke at the Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremony at Fresno State on Friday, November 16, and at PFLAG Tulare & Kings Counties on Sunday, November 18, and at The Source’s TDOR ceremony on Tuesday, November 20, in the Garden Street Plaza in Visalia to commemorate those transgender people lost to transphobic violence in the past year. Galante and her assistant program coordinator Spencer Salazar provide invaluable support, information and resources for the transgender people in this part of the Central Valley.
LATINA LESBIAN ACTIVIST TIANA ARRUDA DONATES HER LIBRARY
The library of San Francisco Latina Lesbian Activist Tiana Arruda was donated to The Source, and has been added to the database and has been squeezed into our bookshelves. Thanks to Chuck Pearson for invaluable assistance in moving books. We need more space! There have been additional donations, including This Book is Gay in Youth Nonfiction, This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel in Fiction (currently causing me serious sleep deprivation as I continue to be entranced by it), and Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall in Children’s Picture Books.
PrEP ASSISTANCE PROGRAM
We are now a PrEP Assistance Program enrollment site. The program will cover the cost of PrEP and all costs associated with obtaining it (doctor appointments, labs, etc.) for anyone who is uninsured or under-insured. Clients do not need a Social Security number to be eligible.
CASTING CALL FOR COMMUNITY UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST'S CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
Calling all actors young and old, we need you for our Christmas Eve pageant at the 5:30 p.m. service on Christmas Eve (practice at 4 p.m.). There are speaking and non-speaking parts. Please contact Robin @ firstname.lastname@example.org or 559.435.2690.
SAN JOAQUIN PRIDE CENTER HONORS LOCAL LGBT EXCELLENCE
The San Joaquin Pride Center is proud to host our six annual LGBT+ celebration. This year, we look forward to honoring the following individuals:
Legacy Award: Cathleen Galgiani is San Joaquin County's first out State Senator but her work on behalf of our LGBT+ community goes back
decades. In the early 1990's Cathleen helped create the very first LGBT+ political club. As a legislative aid, Galgiani advocated for LGBT+ issues that often resulted in political blow-back from the public during a time when San Joaquin County was still divided over gay rights. Cathleen's personal story is a wonderful reminder that each of our coming out stories are unique and that her later in life discovery and coming out experience in the public eye can be a loving and welcoming experience. We applaud Galgiani for her bravery by honoring her with our Legacy Award.
Dr. Lisa Cooper-Wilkins gets it. When it came time for Delta College to review how they supported their LGBT+ students, Dr. Cooper-Wikins could have done what most university's do, create an internal process or hire a big league LGBT+ organization from a large urban city with zero understanding of our local flavor. Instead, Dr. Cooper-Wilkins reached out to our Pride Center and met with our local transgender community These conversations kick-started a year long campaign that included LGBT+ sensitivity trainings and the hiring of an LGBT+ liaison and the re-opening of a pride center on campus. For this we honor Dr. Lisa Cooper-Wilkins with the Pride Center's Education Champion Award.
Community Award: Dr. Elyas Parsa for his advocating for local transgender services and for the creation and cultivation of the San Joaquin County Gender Health Clinic. Through Dr. Parsa's leadership, new doctors who serve our community are learning how to provide culturally competent health care services and ensuring that those served through our County's health system get the same level of health care respect and and support that any and all individuals deserve. Special Recognition Recipient Kacie Anderson will be honored at our 2019 Pride Honors Ceremony.
For tickets for this event, visit the site: HERE
COMMUNITY SERVICES BY PINK PANTHERS MOVEMENT
On Dec. 22, 2018 and in partnership with community members and local organizations and Allies, Pink Panthers Movement will be delivering holiday gifts at two of Golden Living Center’s locations: Hylond and Country View.
The 156 residents will each receive two items comprised of socks, scarves, gloves, hats, earmuffs, blankets and a holiday card; signed by many of the community members, wishing them a happy holiday season.
Some community members will be visiting with residents and others caroling.
PPM would like to thank the partners who were drop off locations and provided donations: Centro La Familia Advocacy Services, The Fresno Center/ Holistic Center, Our Savior Lutheran Church, SOGIE (Sexual Orientation Gender Identity and Expression) and individual community members who also helped provide donations and/or their time for the drive.
The PPM meeting set for January 4, 2018 will be canceled and will resume back in February 1, 2018 5:30 pm - 7 pm with Valentine’s Day Crafts.
PPM would like to wish you and your family a wonderful Holiday Season.
FRESNO DIOCESE’S LGBTQ MINISTRY SUSPENDED
Catholic Church officials silent on reasons
Reposted from The Fresno Bee
A ministry geared toward the Catholic gay community has been suspended by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Fresno. The reasons behind the suspension are unclear.
Called the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning) Ministry, the group was touted as one of-its-kind in the diocese, and established in 2015 by John Prandini.
Teresa Dominguez, chancellor at the Roman Catholic Diocese of Fresno, told The Bee that the diocese had indefinitely suspended the ministry after Bishop Armando X. Ochoa was made aware of claims the ministry “may have evolved beyond its primary mission.”
But Dominguez and diocese officials declined to say how the ministry may have gone outside that mission. Staff at the St. Paul Catholic Newman Center where the ministry was housed were instructed to not speak with The Bee.
The LGBTQ Ministry’s page on the St. Paul Catholic Newman Center’s website appears to have been taken down.
Dominguez declined to answer questions about what the LGBTQ Ministry’s primary mission consisted of, what activities it had engaged in, who was involved and whether anybody had been disciplined. “Bishop met with the ministry’s leadership,” Dominguez said. “Bishop decided to indefinitely suspend the ministry in its current form.”
Ministries such as Fresno’s are not that uncommon elsewhere.
Other Catholic dioceses in California, like the Diocese of San Jose, have similar ministries. The Diocese of San Jose’s LGBT Ministry is geared toward providing “information and resources to support LGBT Catholics, their families, friends and parishes, as we all walk our journey together as disciples of Christ,” according to the ministry’s guidelines.
continued at TheFresnoBee.com
REST IN POWER, MARY STANLEY
It is with great sadness that we share the news that National Women’s Political Caucus California lost one of our founding members — and one of the most energetic and involved members at the local, state and national levels — when Mary Stanley passed away this past weekend, shortly after celebrating her 91st birthday. Mary was a member of the Fresno caucus and, although she had been in declining health for several years, she was living at home and still attending NWPC and other political events until a few short weeks ago.
Many of us have known Mary since the 1970's, when she helped found and breath life into the nascent state caucus. One of Mary’s most effective techniques at generating support, both financial and recognition, was by selling NWPC branded merchandise. Many of us have spent lots of money buying caucus merchandise, which Mary sold at every political convention, meeting and other venue she could to raise money for the national caucus. She was an amazing and totally dedicated supporter of women's political equality and many of California's top elected women are grateful to Mary for her support.
Mary died with her family members around her, not surprisingly wearing her Hillary Clinton t-shirt.
Also, while there are many ways to honor Mary’s life, we know that she would most want you to donate to your local, state and national National Women’s Political Caucus PAC or to the NWPC endorsed candidate of your choice.
Rest in Power, Mary Stanley. Thank you for helping us to move closer to gender equality and doing it while blinged-out celebrating NWPC.
FAITH LEADERS ARRESTED IN SHOW OF SUPORT FOR MIGRANTS IN US-MEXICO BORDER
Reposted from ucc.org
They lined up as far as the eye could see. Over 400 clergy and migrant justice supporters from a number of interfaith traditions, united by the sacred texts to love their neighbors and welcome the stranger, moved in a solemn procession from San Ysidro to Tijuana on December 10, risking arrest to affirm that love knows no borders.
“I have found a ray of hope. It came at the border where faith leaders from all over the country have come to speak of love,” said the Rev. John Dorhauer, UCC General Minister and President. “Let the immigrant and the refugee, all seeking safe passage to a new land, hear these voices. Let those who wield power also hear this cry for love and justice and act in accordance with it.”
continued at www.ucc.org
FAITH AND RELIGION STILL BIG ISSUES FOR LGBTQ MEDIA
Reposted from PRESS PASS Q
The Christmas season may indeed be the holiest time of year, but it offers a challenge for writers for LGBTQ publications — how to reach out to a community which has often been demonized by the Catholic Church and other religions.
Gwendolyn D. Clemons — editor in chief of The Unleashed Voice, a magazine based in Memphis that caters to the African-American LGBTQ community — wrote a recent editorial in which she wrote that she understands “the power of faith, prayer, and acting upon the many visions God provides in our daily lives.”
continued at PRESS PASS Q
TRANS BOXER KNOCKS OUT GENDER BARRIERS WITH HISTORIC WIN
Patricio Manuel became the first transgender man to debut- and win- professionally
Reposted from GayCityNews.nyc
Transgender boxer Patricio Manuel was on the verge of making history when he stepped into the ring on Saturday night, and it didn’t even faze him.
The 33-year-old felt right at home when he made his debut as the first transgender male professional boxer in the United States, defeating Mexican super-featherweight opponent Hugo Aguilar in Indio, California, after three judges scored unanimously in Manuel’s favor.
continued at GayCityNews.nyc
DEMS DEMAND ANSWERS ON TRANS WOMAN'S DEATH IN ICE CUSTODY
Three senators, incoming House Homeland Security chair move on Roxsana Hernandez case
Reposted from GayCityNews.nyc
Three Democratic US senators and the ranking member of the House Committee on Homeland Security have sent letters to the heads of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Customs and Border Protection (CBP) demanding answers after a transgender woman died in US custody while seeking asylum from Honduras.
continued at GayCityNews.nyc
BOY SCOUTS ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY
Sexual abuse settlements could force the once anti-LBGTQ Boys Scouts of America organization to file bankruptcy. Insurers for the organization have balked at paying massive settlements to 11 former scouts who were molested by a serial predator, Thomas Hacker. The BSA, formed 108 years ago, long banned LGBTQ Scoutmasters and Scouts. Under increasing pressure, the organization finally allowed gay and bisexual Scout leaders and employees, starting in 2015 and it opened up membership to transgender youth last year.
SENATOR ORIN HATCH URGES REPUBLICANS TO SUPPORT LGBTQ EQUALITY IN FAREWELL ADDRESS
Senator Orin Hatch, an ultra-conservative Republican senator from Utah, announced his retirement earlier this year. Hatch has been known to oppose LGBTQ rights legislation for most of his tenure in the Senate. But he has recently demonstrated some support for the LGBTQ community. In his farewell address to the Senate, Hatch called for LGBTQ-inclusive anti-discrimination legislation. He stated, “Nowhere is the pluralist approach more needed than in the fraught relationship between religious liberty and LGBTQ rights…”
ELLEN DEGENERES SURPRISES COUPLE WHO LOST ENGAGEMENT RING IN NEW YORK
In November, 2018, John Drennan, from Peterborough, England, proposed to Daniella Anthony in Central Park, New York. The couple lost the engagement ring a few hours later when it slipped off Daniella’s hand and fell into a drainage grate, in Time Square. New York police officers found the missing ring and then couldn’t locate the couple. On December 2, 2018, Ellen Degeneres arranged for two New York police officers to return the ring to the couple on her daytime show, Ellen. After Drennan re-proposed to his fiancé, Ellen surprised the couple by handing them a check for $10,000 to use toward their June 2020 wedding.
LOST LGBT STORIES EXPLORED IN NOTTINGHAM EXHIBITION
Reposted from BBC.com
An exhibition exploring lost and hidden lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender stories has opened at the National Justice Museum.
Objects including LGBT campaign badges and a 11,000-year-old sex sculpture from the British Museum's collection are on display in Nottingham.
The exhibition, based on the book A Little Gay History, travels from ancient times to the present day.
Its curator said it explored the lives of people "whose names are lost to us".
continued at BBC.com
TAKE A LESSON FROM THE FEISTY ROBINS
A while back, I was counseling a graduate student who was deeply troubled with her level of involvement with her family of origin. As a child she was repeatedly abused by her father. Now as an adult in her mid-thirties, she was torn between either detaching herself from him or seeing him during family gatherings.
On one hand, if she refused to see him, she would miss out on most of the family time—especially during holidays. On the other hand, she did not want to face her father because the memories of the childhood abuse were still fresh in her mind. Every time she saw him, she felt like a vulnerable child again, scared and needing protection.
As I was listening to her share her very personal story, a visual memory crossed my mind from a few years ago. I recalled standing in my front yard on a beautify summer day. I could see a robin’s nest in the swaying branches of a weeping willow tree. I could see both parents flying back and forth bringing worms and grubs to the hungry baby birds.
Suddenly, there was a loud, sharp screech coming from the edge of the woods. Turning my head, I saw a blue jay flying rapidly towards the robin’s nest. With a flurry of flapping wings and fierce cries, the robins intercepted the threatening blue jay before it could harm the baby birds. With feathers flying and talons scratching, the robins drove the blue jay back into the woods and away from the nest. Then, the robins returned to the nest to make sure their babies were unharmed.
I shared this story with the woman I was counseling. When I was done, I let her know that it was not my place to tell her what lesson she should draw from that story. That was up to her. She pondered for a minute thinking about what the story meant to her. With a creased brow, replied, “I’m not sure.”
Without being to directive, I asked her some question that would hopefully lead to self-discovery for her. “Which of those creatures do you most closely identify with, if any?”
“The mother robin,” she said.
I asked her to share with me her reasons for feeling a connection with the mother robin. She indicated that she felt the need to protect the vulnerable babies. She saw herself as a strong defender, not fearful and weak. It was this inner strength that I wanted to tap into and bring into the light.
“So, who do the baby birds represent?” I asked.
After some thought, she realized that those fragile, little birds represented a part of herself—the scared and hurt child within her. It was her vulnerable side that she was actually wanting to protect. She had said earlier that when she was around her dad she felt as though she were a small, weak child again. That’s the part of her that she wanted to guard by not seeing her father.
“Ok.” I added. “Now who is the nasty blue jay?” (You’ve probably already guessed this one.)
“My father!” She blurted out with emphasis. “Definitely, my father. He has always been an imposing man. Threatening, I mean. Even in the way he would stand in front of me and just glare at me until I felt only two inches tall. It really amazed me how he had such power over me. The power to take away my confidence in a second.”
This was the point where I wanted her to tie all the loose ends together. “One last question.” I asked. “So, if the robins represent the part of you that is a defender, and the baby birds represent the part of you that is vulnerable and needs protection, and the blue jay represents your abusive father, then what lesson have you learned from the feisty robins?”
She stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. (In reality, it was probably only one minute.) Then, with an expression on her face that looked like she had just finished putting together a jigsaw puzzle, she explained, “Well, I guess I need to chase away the blue jay and keep him away from my vulnerable side. And, I need to protect my inner child from getting hurt. Which means, I also have to be the protector—my own protector. I’m going to have as little to do with him as possible.”
Today’s Loving Suggestion: Now you or I may have taken different action than she did. However, the common lesson here for all of us is to stand up for ourselves and establish healthy, personal boundaries that protect our self-respect. Sit in quiet meditation, and reflect upon the areas of your life that need healthier boundaries. Then, take positive action.
THE UNLIT CHRISTMAS LIGHT BULB
I put the Christmas lights all along the front of my house the weekend before Thanksgiving. It took all afternoon to do but when it was completed it was so cool to see the holiday glow brighten our little part of the street.
Each day since then it has been lots of fun to watch the lights come on as the sun sets. I went outside the other day with a cup of hot cocoa and just enjoyed looking at the colorful lights that reminded me of what a magical time of year this is.
One of the neighbors stopped by and joined me for the brief watch party that evening.
He quickly pointed out that one of the light bulbs was not shining. He was right. How did I miss that?
Oh well, I figured that I could just get the ladder and change it sometime during the upcoming weekend. It did not seem urgent to me.
The next night I was taking the garbage to the curb and another neighbor was out walking her dog. She stopped and chatted with me for a few minutes.
She admired the lights on my home. She also drew my attention to the light bulb that was not working. She assured me it would be easy to correct the problem.
Over the following few days, three more people let me know about the light bulb that was lacking in luminosity. This was becoming quite a thing.
This year I used the extra-large light bulbs. So there were only 50 of them on the façade of the house. Usually there are hundreds of them when I’ve decorated in the past with the small bulbs. That’s probably why it’s been more noticeable with this misfit bulb.
I finally decided to not get up there and replace that bulb. It wasn’t because of procrastination. It wasn’t that I was lazy. It was something else. It was different. And I like different.
As the days passed along, I have begun to like the display just like it is. It got me thinking. It is not perfect. But neither am I. Nor any of us.
Besides, we are all trying to stand out in life. No one wants to be the same as someone else. We strive to be unique in the clothes we wear, the car we drive, and the resume we create.
I found it fascinating that all these folks seemingly want me to fix what has now made my Christmas light decorations so special.
We spend so much of our lives trying to make things flawless that we forget or never truly understand that those imperfections are the best part of every day.
Michael Strahan’s gap-toothed smile, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and Grumpy Cat. They are all endearing to us. Because they are…different.
I have really come to appreciate my holiday lights even more this year.
These people have given me a wonderful gift. They have let me know how beautiful life is with all its imperfections. Even if they weren’t recognizing they were doing just that.
A Christmas light bulb that wouldn’t shine has illuminated my life more than anything else this festive season. It doesn’t get any more brilliant than that.
I hope you have an amazing and healthy holiday season and take the time to embrace all that’s different in our world. It’s what makes our lives so beautiful. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
This radiant article is brought to you by that guy with the soft glow of a Christmas candle. That guy with all his imperfections is Ron Blake and you can see him perfectly well at email@example.com.
Your Intellectual Whore
"An effervescently gay
Disclaimer: Although the author of this syndicated column holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, the tongue-in-cheek advice given is for entertainment only and is not a substitute for therapy. Barbie responds to all emails...whether you deserve it or not. Send your questions to Uncle Barbie at:
CUTTING THROUGH THE BULL
Dear Uncle Barbie,
You answered one of my questions that I sent you a while ago. I thought I would let you know how things are going for me now. I understand you have a relationship, and that guy is really lucky. I would like to seek psychological therapy with someone like you that cuts through the crap and gets to the problem. I have been depressed as of late, and I see it has been several weeks since I saw my therapist. We had to postpone meetings with each other, and I sure wish I had someone to talk with about struggles in my life. I think you are a real sweetie. Let me know if you can be my therapist.
Signed, I am Sad
Hello Sad One,
I must say, it is very thoughtful of you to take the time to write me back. After answering all the letters that have been sent to me, I often wonder how those people are getting along now. Very few of them bother to write back to let me know how things turned out for them.
I agree with you that you need to see a therapist about your depression. Depression needs to be taken seriously. Although it would be nice if I could be your therapist, I really think that you should stick with the therapist you have been seeing. If you have a good therapeutic relationship with him or her, then you would be better off to continue building upon that rapport.
If you don't mind me giving you a suggestion or two, you could always try journaling about your feelings. You said in your letter that you wish you had someone to talk with about your struggles in life. Well, a journal can help you get those thoughts out of your head and onto paper. After I get done journaling, I always feel better. Try it.
The other suggestion that I have for you is to learn how to enjoy being with yourself. You are never alone; you are always with yourself. If you have a good relationship with your own identity and you like who you are, you can then feel comfortable anywhere you go--even if you are with yourself. That's what I do.
I Wish You All the Best, Barbie
ARIES (MAR 21 - APR 19)
You are more than ready to get the ball rolling and you have the energy to do it. It's hard work so take care of your health.
TAURUS (APR 20 - MAY 20)
Others are playing an important role in your life now. Perhaps it's the season of giving that captivates you. There is a certain joy going on.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20)
You are having to deal with long term finances at this time. You start out being pushed into action and then you gladly take control of your life.
CANCER (JUNE 21 - JUL 22)
You're comfortable for a little while during the holidays then the floodgates open in January and there doesn't seem to be enough time for everything. Your fuse is short and you are going to have to pick & choose.
LEO ( JUL 23 - AUG 22)
You start the holidays feeling a little lost then boom you get a sense of direction. New Years resolutions are your goal for a new you.
VIRGO (AUG 23 - SEP 22)
What seems like a tug of war in your life gives way to new ideas. There is money to be made here so tackle work with what you know how to do. Great start to a New Year.
LIBRA (SEP 23 - OCT 22)
Homelife is more rewarding this holiday season. Enjoy it. The rest not so much as everything ends up working against you. You are going to have to deal with it.
SCORPIO (OCT 23 - NOV 21)
You are enjoying the holiday, buying gifts, socializing and all. It's all about you doing what you want and life. Others seek you out here.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22 - DEC 21)
You feel a lot of attentoin is focused on you good or bad. It's unerving but it doesn't last and you get back to your normal stride in life. What a trip.
CAPRICORN (DEC 22 - JAN 19)
The focus is on you now. You are busy around the home for the holidays. Believe it or not it gets busier in January. Compassion seems to be a release now.
AQUARIUS (JAN 20 - FEB 18)
Working with others goeas a long way to achieving your goals they bring new ideas to the table and give a real sense of direction now.
PISCES (FEB 19 - MAR 20)
You will probably spend too much money during theholidays but you are enjoying it and having fun shopping. You're meeting new people with fresh ideas to achieve goals.
Not To Be Missed
ROSE PARADE 2019
Since 1890, The Tournament of Roses has produced American’s New Year’s Celebration, bringing the traditions of the Rose Parade and the Rose Bowl Game to Pasadena and the world for nearly 130 years! This year, Honda Corporation will start the parade with its opening spectacular and Well Fargo will provide the grand finale for the Tournament of Roses Parade! As an annual tradition, Rose Parade floats are completely covered in flowers, flower petals, and seeds. For more information, go the tournamentofroses.com!
Los Angeles, CA
The Griffith Observatory, in Los Angeles, holds a monthly free public program, in the Leonard Nimoy Event Horizon, called, All Space Considered, where curatorial staff examine and explain the most talked-about subjects in astronomy and space science. The next lecture is scheduled for Friday, January 4, 2019, at 7:30 PM. Seating is first come, first served. The Griffith Observatory is located at 2800 E. Observatory Ave, Los Angeles, CA, 90027. For more information, go to griffithobservatory.org!
CIRQUE DU SOLEIL
You usually have to go to Las Vegas to see the Cirque du Soleil, but it will be performing its Volta extravaganza at various venues throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, from December 15, 2018, through March 6, 2019! Volta is the title of Cirque du Soleil’s big top show which is themed around extreme sports. Tickets for this event are in the $100 range. For more information, go to cirquedusoleilsanfransisco.com.
San Francisco, CA
Margaret Cho is performing on Thursday, January 10, 2019, at the Marines Memorial Theatre, in San Francisco. Cho is an American/Asian comedian, born in San Francisco, CA, who critiques social and political problems, especially topics related to race and sexuality. Tickets for this event start at $100. The Marines Memorial Theatre is located at 609 Sutter Street, San Francisco, CA, 94102. For tickets, go to marinesmemorialtheatre.boxoffice- tickets.com.
Sir Elton John is performing his Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour at The Save Mart Center, in Fresno, on January 15, 2019. Sir Elton is 71 years old and has announced that this will be his last tour! Don’t let the sun go down without seeing Sir Elton John in concert! The
Save Mart Center is located at 2650 E. Shaw, Fresno, CA, 93710. Tickets for this event are selling out fast! Contact your favorite ticket seller for tickets!
Roger Rocka’s Dinner Theater, in Fresno, has tickets available for the play, Footloose, on January 6, 2019. Footloose is a musical play, based on the 1984 film of the same name. Tickets for the play and dinner are in the $60 range. Roger Rocka’s Dinner Theater is located at 1226 N. Wishon, in Fresno, CA, 93728. For tickets, go to rogerrockas.com or call the box office at 559- 266-9494.
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Mindfulness Meditation & Support Group
12 PM - 1 PM
The Center for Sexuality & Gender Diversity
902 18th St, BAKERSFIELD, CA 93301
The class includes spiritual readings, guided meditation and silece followed by Metta.
DollHouse Show: Ugly Christmas Sweater
9 PM - 2 AM
3075 N Maroa, Ave FRESNO, CA 93704
Join us This Sunday for Our Ugly Christmas Sweater for you Chance to Win a Cash Prize! $8 cover.
Monday, December 24, 2018
LGBTQ Alcoholics Anonymous
7:30 PM - 8:30 PM
841 Mohawk St. Suite 260, BAKERSFIELD, CA 93309
Alcoholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of individuals who have had a drinking problem. Membership is open to anyone who wants to do something about their drinking problem.
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
FAB Presents Game Night (21+)
9 PM - 2 AM
716 E Olive Ave, FRESNO, CA 93728
No cover. Drag Bingo hosted by Charmalina! Featuring Tuesday night happy hour.
Friday, December 28, 2018
4th Friday Queer Game Night
7 PM - 10 PM
Oakland LGBTQ Community Center
3207 Lakeshore Ave, Rand Ave entrence, OAKLAND, CA 94610
Come smash 2018 with s as we close out the year with the newest video games & board games.
LGBTQ "But I'm a Cheerleader"
7 PM - 10 PM
Merced Multicultural Arts Center - The MAC
645 W Main St., MERCED, CA 95340
"But I'm A Cheerleader!" film screeing at the Merced Multicultral Arts Center. A Free Event. No age requirement but this is a R Rated film. DOn't mess up our fun by bringing young children, please! :-)
FAB Rainbow Brite Tribute! (21+)
716 E Olive Ave, FRESNO, CA 93728
Come see our queens pay tribute to Rainbow Brite!
Saturday December 29, 2018
LGBTQ+ Speed Friending
6:30 PM - 9 PM
309 W Main St, MERCED, CA 95340
The Merced LGBTQ+ Alliance created Speed Friending events as an answer to the question "Where's a good place in Merced for LGBTQ folks and allies to meet?"
Monday, December 31, 2018
FAB New Years with Laganja Estrange
8 PM - 2 AM
716 E Olive AVE, FRESNO, CA 93728
Special NYE Drag Show at 10 PM hosted by Isis De Luna!
Friday, January 4, 2019
Monthly Social Dinner at Ming's!
7:30 PM - 9 PM
1414 N Van Ness, Ave, FRESNO, CA 93728
Come out to Trans-E-Motion's monthly social at Ming's restaurant in Tower District. New members, old members, allies and families welcome! Feel free to contact Trans-E-Motion for any questions.
Saturday, January 5, 2019
Transgender Support Group
5:30 PM - 7 PM
COMMON SPACE 1252 Fulton St, FRESNO, CA 93721
The first Saturday of every month, we hold a support group for transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Contact us if you have any questions.
Sunday, January 6, 2019
Transforming the Judgmental Mind
9:30 AM - 5 PM
East Bay Meditation Center
285 17th St, OAKLAND, CA 94612
No fee. Transforming the Judgmental Mind with Shahara Godfrey and Donald Rothberg. Judgments of a reactive and compulsive nature are very strong in most of our lives, and in the dominant culture. They can distort our perceptions, make relationships with others difficult and undermine our work in the world.
Thursday, January 10, 2019
Talking Two Spirit
5:30 PM - 7:30 PM
Fresno American Indian Health Project
1551 E Shaw Ave, Ste 139, FRESNO, CA 93710
Talking two spirit potluck meet and greet talking circle. A night of cultre education and community.
Fresno LGBTQ Movie Night
5:30 PM - 8:30 PM
3071 W Bullard Ave, FRESNO, CA 93711
Fresno LGBTQ social activity group invites you to a free movie night. Snacks and drinks provided. No outside food or drink, please. Film is rated PG-13.
Saturday, January 12, 2019
Clothing Swap/Gender Rebels Social
3 PM - 6 PM
The Center for Sexuality & Gender Diversity
902 18th St, BAKERSFIELD, CA 93301
This monthly clothing swap is in support of our trans and gender non-conforming community members. Come join us to grab some clothes, socialize with others in the community, and have some snacks! We are here every second Saturday! All are welcome!
Sunday, January 13, 2019
Drag Queen Bingo (13+)
4 PM - 7 PM
101 W Main St, VISALIA, CA 93291
Drag Queen Bingo is back and bigger and bolder than ever. New Venue at the Cellar Door. Priscilla McNamara and the Queen of the South Valley return to entertain you with humor, camp, and drag shows. $10 per person.
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Community Art Night!
6:30 PM - 9:30 PM
1252 Fulton St, FRESNO, CA 93721
Hosted by Trans-E-Motion. The third Tuesday of every month, we invite the community out for Art Night! We have everything you need to make your next masterpiece, or just let off some steam in a creative way. Supplies included. We work hard to be an all-inclusive organization. If you need any additional accommodations, or have any questions please contact Trans-E-Motion.
Monday, January 21, 2019
Racism Under the Rainbow: Breaking Bread
4:30 PM - 7:30 PM
3207 Lakeshore Ave, OAKLAND, CA 94610
The Oakland LGBTQ Community Center is committed to improving the community's access to wellness resources that support the building equity. On Monday, January 21st, The Center, will offer healing space in recognition of the immediate need to address the reality of intersectional racism and its deep effects within our LGBTQIA+ community.