top of page
Smoke
Untitled-2 copy.jpg

Issue VII, Vol. XXV, No. 295 | March 2020

News and happenings for, by, about and affecting the LGBT Valley.
Project of Community Link, Inc: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Service Organization. 
EST. September 1995

pridebacground.jpg
PayPal ButtonPayPal Button
PayPal ButtonPayPal Button

Community Link Projects

Anchor 1
greyallianceside.jpg

Gray Alliance is a group for LGBT seniors, and we get together twice a month for social functions. The second Wednesday of the month at 6 pm we meet at different restaurants.

Due to the serious nature of the COVID-19 virus, all Gray Alliance events are canceled until further notice. Our age group is especially vulnerable. 

 

We have a potluck the final Sunday of the month at the First Congregational Church Fireside Room from 2-4 pm. It’s located at the south end of the church at 2131 N Van Ness Blvd in Fresno. Please note that although we are using a church facility, Gray Alliance has no religious affiliation. We will not be meeting Sunday, March 29, 2020.

 

If you have any questions, please call John Richardson at 559-260-1565.  Hope to see you soon!

YOUTH ALLIANCE NEWS MARCH 2020

David McGee

Spring has sprung in the Central Valley! The daffodils and flowering trees are blooming! A few 
California poppies have already shown up! And yet, a public health concern has darkened our days! The COVID-19 virus has entered the United States, and of course, it hit California hard due to the tourist industry. We are all out shopping, trying to stock up on toilet paper, disinfectants, and bottled water, but finding empty shelves! Our Youth Alliance members have all been dismissed from school for the next month! They came to the latest Friday evening LGBTQ Youth Alliance meeting and asked what we are going to do about our meetings! They made it clear that they don’t want the meetings to be canceled!


Public schools, colleges, and even businesses have closed their doors so quickly in the past week that our Youth Alliance leadership has not had time to make a decision about what to do with our Friday evening group meetings. On one hand, we want to continue to offer our LGBTQ youth a place to meet in order to socialize. On the other hand, we want them to be safe from contagion. The Big Red Church, where our LGBTQ Youth Alliance meets, has a courtyard that we might be able to use for a fresh-air meeting space, in order to reduce the risk of transmission of airborne viruses. Our leadership will meet soon to consider our options!

​

A local psychotherapist joined our group meeting recently in order to introduce one of his clients to the youth group. Of course, we made him participate in the circle! He had to check in like the rest of the youth group members, giving his name, age, and orientation, and then he had to answer the introductory question, along with all the other participants! When he left for the evening he reported that he enjoyed the exchange and would be referring other youth to our meeting! His client also seemed to enjoy our noisy bunch, as well--he’s returned for other groups! That’s why the Youth Alliance has been around for the past 30 years! It gives young LGBTQ individuals a safe place to meet!

​

Our February end-of-the-month potluck was its usual success! We had 20 noisy, hungry participants! Our Pizza Man brought an extra pizza so that we had enough pizza for the gang! We ate, talked, and played a few games! Potlucks are a great time for new people to join the group! We encourage anyone thinking of coming to the Youth Alliance meetings to show up on a Potluck Friday! They’re great fun!

​

The Fresno LGBTQ Youth Alliance meets on Friday nights, at 7 PM, in the Fireside Room at the First Congregational Church (The Big Red Church), located at 2131 N. Van Ness, in Fresno. We welcome any and all LGBTQ youth and their allies, ages 14-25, to join us on Friday nights! Check out our Facebook page for reminders about the group! We usually post a reminder about the group meetings on Friday mornings! Just go to our Facebook page, “Fresno GLBTQ (yes, in that order) Youth Alliance,” to check it out! And once we decide what to do to reduce the risk of airborne virus transmission, we will be sure to post our plans on Facebook!

​

​

youthallianceside.jpg
QistoryNL.jpg
QThngAd.jpg

Local

Anchor 2

A LOVING MESSAGE
Toni Harrison

When I write for the Link I spend time thinking about what to write trying to make my post fit the season or something going on in the community.

 

I have been thinking about what to write and everything comes back to the current crisis we as a community and country are now facing. Every day, sometimes by the hour, like today we get more disturbing news about the Corona virus pandemic.

 

There is little I can say except to do what you can to protect yourself. Wash your hands often, sing Happy Birthday to yourself slowly while you wash to make sure you are doing a thorough job. Sneeze and cough into your elbow. Don’t shake hands, all things we are hearing constantly right now.
 

Remember Dr Spock…live long and prosper hand signal?


Look after yourself and your neighbors, your parents, siblings, friends, especially the elderly. Check in on them. Don’t go hog wild and buy 100 rolls of toilet paper and water. Normal supplies should be enough but if you must hoard then also share.
 

More and more events are being cancelled or postponed, so maybe instead of going to the club tonight you watch TV and snuggle under a blanket with a loved one, fur baby or even a stuffed animal. Take care of yourself.

​

I know all this has been said 1,000 times but pay attention, give yourself and others love and caring and above all be safe and be well.

​

College Campus

DOES FRESNO STATE HAVE A SEXUAL ASSAULT PROBLEM? IT APPEARS THAT IT DOES

Dan Waterhouse

 

An alleged double rape and a series of lawsuits quietly winding through the Fresno court system finally might rip the veil away from sexual assault at Fresno State.

Feminist activists claim rape is a common occurrence on campus. The accusations historically center around the athletic program and fraternity and sorority life. Several generations of administrators consistently and vehemently deny the claims.

​

The most recent case involves a 17-year-old former sorority member who claims she was raped twice on Super Bowl weekend, at the Kappa Sigma fraternity house and at a private home in a small community east of Fresno. She claims members of her sorority (Phi Mu) told her to keep quiet about what happened.

After she went public on YouTube a few weeks ago, other women said on social media the letters of another Fresno State fraternity stand for “Sexual Assault Expected.” The 17-year-old told the Fresno Bee that sexual assault is “normalized behavior” within Greek life.

​

Both Kappa Sigma and Phi Mu have been suspended by the university and several investigations continue.

​

The earlier cases involve members of a Fresno school trustee’s family, several of their friends, and a former male student. All are either suing or countersuing one another.  This all started last summer when one of two women who claim to be victims began a social media campaign to get the man kicked out of a Northern California medical school. According to the man’s defamation complaint, he was forced to drop out because the campaign potentially put the medical school in a poor light.

​

She initially claimed on social media he battered her in late 2016; however, she later changed her story to include rape. Court records show the man initially pled no contest to misdemeanor battery (involving domestic violence) in early 2017 on a conditional plea. There were no sexual assault charges filed. He was then allowed a few months later to change his plea to not guilty and the case was dismissed outright.

​

It turns out that, because this all occurred in a campus dorm room, university police investigated the 2016 incident. She didn’t report what supposedly happened to police until long afterwards. She admits the Fresno County district attorney’s office refused to file sex assault charges due to lack of evidence.

According to the man’s defamation lawsuit, he and the woman dated for several months and broke up late in 2016. He claims she was looking for a ‘sugar daddy’ inside the university’s Greek system and picked him because he was “a future doctor.” He says she became a laughingstock on campus after news of the split spread all over campus.

source.jpg

NEWS FROM THE SOURCE

The Source LGBT+ Center is taking every precaution to ensure our staff, volunteers, and visitors remain safe and healthy. As we learn more about the COVID-19 it seems the best course of action is to apply a social distance model. This means that we will be limiting our staff, volunteers, and visitors’ face to face contact with the public. All peer support groups

will move to a virtual model, if possible, and the drop in center will be closed until further notice. Outside groups that use our center will be on hold until further notice. Staff will be able to work remotely, if they choose, and anyone exhibiting signs of illness will be required to stay home. Those with compromised immune systems are encouraged to begin working from home immediately.

To our funders… please know that we are responding to this pandemic by following best practices of social distancing. We will continue our work within the guidelines, expectations, and deliverables of our grants. We expect we will not be the only ones adjusting timelines and shifting expectations with our work. The health and safety of our already vulnerable population is at stake. We will remain flexible and hopeful as the situation unfolds.

​

Our next large public event is Drag Queen Bingo on April 19th and 26th. There are no plans to postpone at this time. We will continue to evaluate the situation and keep you updated on any changes. Our signature event of the year is PRIDE Visalia, scheduled for May 23, 2020 at The Old Lumberyard. We are hopeful that by then, events like these will go on as planned. We will continue to adjust our expectations as more information is shared and be willing to postpone if necessary. Please watch our event page for updates.

There is one event that will not be affected by social distancing: Give Out Day. Give Out Day is a national day of giving to LGBT+ Centers. It’s a virtual event. And this year, it’s more important than ever to The Source because our event revenue, which we depend on to stay open, is likely to be affected. Please mark your calendars for April 23, 2020.

​

Community support is vital as we continue to respond to this crisis. The Source LGBT+ Center will be as available as ever, and perhaps even more so. Our staff is already working on the safest ways to support our LGBTQ community who feel isolated, scared, or just need some extra support. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out via phone, email, text, social media message, or join us for our virtual drop-in center from 3pm - 6pm in the coming weeks.

​

The health and safety of our community is our highest priority. Thank you for your flexibility and resilience. It is the hallmark of our LGBTQ community. We will get through this together. If you feel moved to support our efforts and to bolster our resources, please make a donation to The Source at thesource.kindful.com.

prideflagg.jpg

GSA NETWORK NEWS

Marinarde Soto Espinoza

The health and wellbeing of trans and queer youth of color is at the core of what we do every day in the GSA movement—whether that’s organizing for justice, creating safe spaces in schools, or practicing self-care so that young people can thrive.

 

By now you’ve likely already heard how Covid-19 is impacting people across the globe. At GSA Network, we feel a tremendous social responsibility to make sure that we do everything in our power to keep our families and communities healthy and united. As a result, we will postpone Expression Not Suppression (ENS) to a later date when we can feel confident that youth activists and organizers can all participate without distractions.

 

We want you to know that our collective work for trans and queer liberation will go on. We will be in touch very soon with updates on youth leadership events, discussions about organizing and LGBTQ+ inclusion in schools, and ways to give back. We will also announce new and innovative ways for you to connect with us virtually and keep building the trans and queer youth movement. In the meantime, you know what to do: 

 

Stay Healthy! Friendly reminder to follow common-sense tips, like step up your hand washing, touch your face less often, get tons of sleep, stay hydrated, and eat healthy foods to keep yourself feeling strong. 

 

Get Informed! Make sure you know what’s happening in your school or local community so that you can respond or change the way you do things—whether that means choosing which activities to participate in or opt out of, or adjusting transportation plans.

 

Keep In Touch! Check in with your friends, GSA club members, and advisors to make sure they are doing ok. It’s always good to have a system of support and now is no different. And we will check on you, too, so make sure to open our emails and follow us on social media! 

 

We hope to see you online soon. 

​

FCOHPW190318-Pride-Sponsorship-Quarter-P
savioursad.jpg
RedLanternAd.jpg

National

Anchor 3

BUTTIGIEG HOSTS JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

David McGee
 

On Thursday, March 12, 2020, former Democratic presidential candidate hosted “Jimmy Kimmel Live” to an empty audience—the audience was canceled due to COVID-19 virus concerns. But despite the challenge of playing to an empty theater, Buttigieg turned in a solid performance for the night. During his monologue, Buttigieg joked that he thought he had a shot at the presidency, but it turned out that he was “about 40 years too young and 38 years too gay.” Critics say his interview with Patrick Stewart, who was promoting his new show, “Picard,” was outstanding.

Source: lgbtqnation.com

​

_____

 

GLORIA GAYNOR WASHES HER HANDS
David McGee

 

Gloria Gaynor has lit up the Internet with a hand-washing video set to her iconic song,” I Will Survive.” Gaynor posted the 20-second video, in which she lip-synced to her song, in order to promote handwashing as a way to prevent the spread of diseases. Her video has been viewed on Twitter nearly 4 million times. Fans are making their own “I Will Survive” videos to promote hand-washing behavior, which Gaynor has responded to saying, “I love that people are taking part in the #iwillsurvivechallenge.”

 

Source: lgbtqnation.com

MARK HAMILL HAMMERS THE PRESIDENT

David McGee

“Star Wars” actor Mark Hamill responded to Donald Trump’s comments on Friday, 
March 13, 2020, when the president abdicated responsibility for the US response to COVID-19. Trump was quoted as saying, “I don’t take responsibility at all.” Hamill responded on Twitter with quotes from previous presidents, such as, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country,” a quote from John F Kennedy. Hamill’s post trended, inspiring other Twitter readers to add comments, such as Barack Obama’s quote, “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

 

Source: huffpost.com

Donating Money

CAITLYN JENNER BUSTED TAKING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO FUNDRAISE FOR A FAKE CHARITY

A news organization made up a fake environmental charity. For a fee, Caitlyn Jenner said she was "proud to support" their work.
Molly Sprayregen
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com


Caitlyn Jenner was caught taking tens of thousands of dollars to promote a fake charity in a sting operation by a British news organization.
 

The current events program Dispatches released a documentary called Celebs for Sale: The Great Charity Scandal, in which the news team set up a fake charity to catch celebrities taking money in exchange for promoting it.

continue reading at LGBTQNation.com

TRUMP IS TRYING TO RESCIND LGBTQ WORKER PROTECTIONS AT THE NATIONAL LABOR RELATIONS BOARD
A federal worker union is sounding the alarm about Trump appointees trying to take away LGBTQ protections.
Alex Bollinger
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com

 

The Trump administration is trying to rescind protections for LGBTQ workers at the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) that have been in place since 2002, prompting outrage from the NLRB Professional Association, an organization that represents NLRB workers.

​

NLRBPA President Karen Cook sent a letter on Thursday, March 5 to Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA) that LGBTQ Nation has obtained. The letter informs Feinstein of how two administration officials are attempting to get rid of protections for LGBTQ workers.

US Flag
continue reading at LGBTQNation.com
TransitionsCCAd.jpg
TowerHealthAd.jpg
TMarquitosAd.jpg

International

Anchor 4
Toronto

CANADA ON THE BRINK OF BANNING CONVERSION THERAPY NATIONWIDE
David McGee
 

Canadian lawmakers have introduced a bill into legislation that would make it illegal to

cause a minor to undergo conversion therapy, to remove a minor from Canada to undergo

conversion therapy in another country, and to profit from or advertise conversion therapy.

Canadian lawmakers have called the proposal “the most progressive and comprehensive in the

world.” The passing of this bill would fulfill a campaign promise made by Canadian Prime

Minister Justin Trudeau in his reelection campaign last year.

Source: advocate.com

LGBTQ PEOPLE HAVE A HIGHER RISK OF CORONAVIRUS
LGBTQ organizations are sounding the alarm.
Alex Bollinger
Reposted from LGBTQNation.com

 

A coalition of organizations is sounding an alarm about how LGBTQ people are more likely to catch and suffer from coronavirus than the rest of the population.

​

The National LGBT Cancer Network organized an open letter signed by over 100 organizations that lists reasons LGBTQ people should be taking extra precautions to avoid the disease, which was just labeled a pandemic by the World Health Organization.

Medical-Steroid-Injections
continue reading at LGBTQNation.com
RichiesPizzaAd.jpg
BPFAd.jpg

Enlighten Me

Anchor 5

TEACHING BY MODELING, NOT BY PREACHING
Mark Lang

 

You do not have to fear mistakes. Instead, view them as a learning opportunity. Then you can pass these life lessons on to others. The trick is not to judge yourself too harshly for making mistakes. When you have this kind of freedom from self-judgment, you will be less likely to judge anyone else.

​

Similarly, by having compassion for yourself, you will be able to show compassion to other individuals. Over time, you will discover you do not need to judge or reject anyone. With this frame of mind, you will be better able to teach people how to find relief from their turmoil by letting go of self-judgment. You will most likely be glad to do this task because acts of kindness give pleasure.

​

This lesson is best taught by role modeling, not preaching a sermon. People usually do not care how much you know until they first know how much you care. So instead of simply telling others what to do, show them what you do. They will be watching you more than listening to you.

​

Remember, what you do speaks louder than the words you are saying. And besides, most of the time, the ones who talk the most tend to be the ones who understand the least. That is why it is usually best to lead by example.

​

Personally, I sometimes like to gently remind people who act as if they have all the answers that they do not ever have all the information. These know-it-alls stubbornly hold their ground. It’s as if they think that just considering the possibility that someone else’s opinion has merit would shake the very foundation of their belief system. Ironically, it is their closed-mindedness which cause these smarty-pants to stumble cognitively.

​

However, we don’t have to push our beliefs on anyone. That is the main point. A true spiritual leader doesn’t force others to follow. Rather, the sage merely points to one of many spiritual paths we can choose. Regrettably, too many of us don’t even bother to look at the road ahead because we are too busy admiring the leader. Isn’t that the way it is? We get so caught up in the magnetism of this spiritual leader we completely overlook the fact he or she is trying to direct us to a higher place.

​

It is essential for us to be well grounded before attempting to teach others. That is why it was recommended earlier to let go of self-judgments when we make mistakes. We can learn from our blunders. Life teaches us, and we teach others. So be confident and secure in the wisdom of life. Life is the source of knowledge, building wisdom upon wisdom. When we feel a connection to the source, we can show others (by modeling) this gateway to understanding.

​

Part of the problem is people have learned to view things in polar opposite extremes—all or none. They never learned (or have forgotten) that balance is the key to life; this balance is the basis of homeostasis. Nature strives for a homeostatic state and so can humans. When people habitually see life through the narrow lends of right and wrong, they instantly become judgmental. They think that for some things to be good, other things need to be bad. When this type of irrational cognitive processing enters the mind, reasonableness instantly disappears just as quickly as sight disappears when switching off the light.

​

When the opportunity does arise to teach others, you do not need to provide answers. Nor do you need to defend your beliefs. In fact, you can teach without speaking a word. You do not need to try so hard to enlighten people. Forget about trying—simply let go. Just let your life lessons flow through you for all to see. Do not hide them. Be your natural-self and nature will teach life lessons through you.

Please do not mistake this methodology as a non-action approach to interpersonal relationships. It is not passivity. On the contrary, it is a call to action. The message is: don’t talk—act! It is a form of action done effortlessly. Just emanate life energy while interacting with others.

​

People have been so disappointed by misinformation and broken promises that they have been conditioned not to trust words. When it comes to esoteric topics such as life energy and spirituality, it seems that the human language cannot accurately describe the metaphysical. In fact, the more people try to sermonize on the source of life, the less they understand it. Inevitably, this leads to misinterpretations and arguments.

​

Ultimately, it is most effective to just be your natural, loving self without forcing things. Be a positive role model, then emotionally let go. If you are not emotionally married to the outcome, you are less likely to become defensive by trying to prove yourself or justify your position. And don’t explain your success either. It is enough to let people see the result, and they will learn from your example.

    

Something to meditate on today. Practice doing your activities without pushing so much. Instead of forcing an issue, let life energy flow naturally from you. Do you have enough self-discipline to teach others without imposing your will on them? As you go about your day, try leading by example. Let go of your desire to control the people and events around you. Let life follow its natural course without your interference.

​

​

OnkkaAd.jpg
MPanicAd.jpg
BearskiAd.jpg
chase.jpg
FSDAd.jpg

New Wellness

Anchor 6

TODAY’S MY LAST DAY 

Ron Blake 
 

We need some fun stories to keep us smiling and full of wellness. This is my vaccine to help us through this national health emergency. Here is a true fun story from my earlier days.  

 

I quit my job one day. That was not the unusual part. It was something else that made this quite unbelievable. 

 

I was employed as a gofer at a suburban Chicago law firm. My frenetic job duties entailed running a variety of errands. Depositing money at the bank. Picking up lunch for the firm's meetings. Buying office supplies.  

 

It was a full time job. That was difficult since I was also going to grad school full time. I was under a lot of stress and not getting enough sleep. And my supervisor was kind of like the J.K. Simmons character in the award winning movie Whiplash. Intense and demanding.  

 

So one day I arrived at work as one would. But that workday would involve a come to Jesus moment. School was my priority. I wasn't jeopardizing that anymore. I was quitting my job. Immediately.  

 

I got along well with most of the attorneys, paralegals, and office staff. I made my rounds on that early spring morning and said my final goodbyes to all of my co-workers and pals. My supervisor was not expected in until the afternoon. So I left a written note on her desk about my sudden departure. 

 

But something curious happened. A few of my colleagues slipped me their orders for lunch. Some handed me client files to be taken back to the storage area. And still yet others gave me requisitions for office supplies. Typical for my work day. But this was the end. Right then and there. 

 

I was puzzled. We were all thick as thieves. They would hug and shake hands with me at a time such as this. But nothing like that was happening. What was I missing? 

 

OK, maybe this was their first stage of grief I thought. Denial. We had some epic times together. They didn’t want to accept it was over. I was really leaving them. The band was breaking up. 

 

I put the lunch orders, client files, and requisitions on my desk for the next guy to take care of. I then quietly left. Thinking they’d come running out into the parking lot yelling "Don't Go" and give me the final and proper send off. But it was not to be.  

 

I arrived home several hours later after running some of my own errands. My answering machine was blinking. There were concerned messages from several of my now former colleagues. It was lunch time and they were waiting for me to arrive with their Italian beef sandwiches and onion rings. 

 

I called one of them back and reminded her that I had quit. She and the others just didn't seem to want to accept it. She replied that everyone thought I was pulling their leg. 

 

She was terribly sad to hear that I really had quit my trabajo. She began nervously laughing and telling the others in the room I indeed was gone. No one had believed me. They all thought it was a prank. And this time and on this particular day; they were all on to me. 

 

I was under so much stress that I had completely forgotten...it was April Fool’s Day.  

 

This article of I’m outta here is brought to you by that guy working without his barrister buddies. That guy of parting ways is Ron Blake and he and Merry Andrew can be reached at rblake5551@hotmail.com

881Ad.jpg
SharesAd.jpg

Uncle Barbie

Anchor 7
unclebar.jpg

Your Intellectual Whore
"An effervescently gay
advice columnist."

 

Disclaimer: Although the author of this syndicated column holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, the tongue-in-cheek advice given is for entertainment only and is not a substitute for therapy. Barbie responds to all emails...whether you deserve it or not. Send your questions to Uncle Barbie at:
askunclebarbie@aol.com

KISS YOUR P-ASS-T GOODBYE

 

Dear Uncle Barbie,

I have a friend who is driving me crazy! She is one of those people whose life reads like a woefully bad novel. She claims that she has been depressed her whole life. It’s not that her life is really all that bad; it’s more that she interprets every event in her life as a negative, and she is not shy about sharing her misery. She keeps rehashing the past, and her stories never change. For instance, she forever tells me that she could have been a famous ballet dancer if her parents would have only bought her ballet slippers when she was a child. I’ve spent the past 30 years listening to her whine about her life, and frankly, I’ve reached the end of my patience with her. I have tried to help, but she just never DOES anything to change. In fact, I think she prefers whining to changing her life. She doesn’t ask how I am or what I am doing. Instead, she only talks about her problems. I’m ready to chuck our friendship but worry that I will feel guilty for doing so. HELP!

Signed, Tired of Whiney Friend

 

Hello Whiner,

Isn’t it interesting that you are whining about the whining of someone else? Perhaps you have more in common with your friend than you realize. Let’s start off examining your role in this scenario, and then we will look at your friend. The codependent relationship that you have with your friend is one that reeks of self-deception. You are playing the role of the enabler by allowing her to continue being dependent on you. I strongly agree with you that it is time to cut the apron strings and let her be a little more self-reliant. It is fine to be a caregiver to people who are not able to care for themselves. However, you sound like a martyr who has depleted her energies and sacrificed herself in the line of duty. (A duty that is so strong that you fear you will feel guilty if you stop playing that role.) Do you have a savior complex or something? I admit that it can feel good to be the rescuer because it makes a person feel important--just don’t go overboard.

 

Okay, now let’s tackle this pathetic friend of yours. What a drama queen. Her life is like reality TV without the set. I find it disappointing that she only wants you to listen to her problems and is unwilling to reciprocate by listening to your problems. The best advice I can give her (or anyone else who wants to alleviate his/her depression) is to help someone else. Whenever I get depressed (as we all sometimes do), I will do an act of kindness for a fellow human being. This does not have to be a huge display of generosity. All you really need to do is something simple like hold the door open for someone or give a pleasant smile to the cashier who is serving you. Change the way you view the situation. It’s not a problem; it’s a challenge. It’s not a permanent crisis; it’s a temporary setback. It’s not a personal flaw of character; it’s an area for improvement. Go out and volunteer somewhere. Giving of yourself does not have to be a big deal. It can be as simple as donating some of your used household items to Goodwill, caring for a pet, showing respect for Mother Nature by recycling, etc.

 

People who are depressed need to resist the temptation to withdraw from social interaction. It will only cause them to go deeper into despair to stay in bed feeling sorry for themselves and avoiding their problems. Depression can be a very self-centered experience because people in this state of mind focus on their problems and their misery. They seldom think of how they can help others. For many years as a therapist, I have counseled people with depression, and I have heard all the excuses and justifications for why they don’t follow my suggestions. “I don’t have the time. I don’t have the energy. I can’t…I can’t--bitch, bitch, bitch.” For all their pissing and moaning, it gets them nowhere. If they would only take the energy that they use fighting my help and instead apply that same level of energy toward their treatment, they would be well on their way to a happier life. But unfortunately, they keep track of all their hurts and injuries like trophies. As they would impart their painful stories to me, I was struck by how these depressed individuals would use their emotional injuries like a calendar to mark the milestones in their lives. Remembering their wounds was literally how they recorded the passage of time.

 

Whenever you are dealing with someone (like your friend) who resists getting better, you need to address the motivation behind the resistance. Consider the possibility of secondary gains. By this, I mean that maybe the troubled person is receiving an emotional reward for being in her current situation. For example, it is conceivable that the feel-good sympathy that she is receiving from friends and family is reinforcing her passive behavior to stay sick. Now, this brings us back to the topics of codependency and enabling behavior. (I believe we discussed your codependent behavior earlier in this article.) Looks like we have come full circle. Perhaps this would be a good place to stop.

Festively Disturbing, Barbie

​

​

MStanleyAd.jpg
ginak.jpg
KBGDAd.jpg

Horoscopes

Anchor 8
Astrology Map

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
You have been spinning your wheels for the wrong reasons. Keep plugging away and all becomes clear with opportunities coming your way. 

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
Something is coming your way out of the blue. You may or may not like it but it is an opportunity in disguise. Keep pushing forward and try to be flexible. 

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 21)

After last month this month you feel like you know what you are doing. Time to get out and enjoy yourself. Life is good this period.

CANCER (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
Life has been a little rough on you but it changes mid cycle here. You need a distraction here so go out and do something different and fun for you. It will relieve a lot of stress and give you a new outlook. 

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
You just sail along then life throws you a curve ball. You need to buckle down and take care of business. Be realistic in your goals so you can shine.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
This is not the time for perfection. Get the job done and don't sweat the details. This is also a time for enjoyment in your life, you deserve it. 
 

LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
A Little stress going on but it will end in a couple of weeks. You need to clean the closet out. Out with the old and in with the new. This will refresh you and give you a new perspective. 

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Your anger could be blocking your vision. It is nothing new happening it's just you are a little too sensitive here. Bite your tongue to get through it all. Check things twice.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good time to have some fun and move forward in your life. Opportunity is ready to knock at your door so look over your options to achieve goals. 

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You have the energy to make those changes you have been thinking about. Creativity is on your side so go for it. This is your time.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Get ready to take on some responsibility because its coming your way like it or not. You have a lot of good ideas to help you out. This can be very productive and rewarding. 

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Well you are a ball of fire or not. Get out of the house and do something you like. This will stimulate you and make you feel good about your life. Have fun.

GGAd.jpg
LGBTFrsAd.jpg
NThghtAd.jpg

Not To Be Missed

Anchor 9

Dear News Link readers: Not to be Missed will be taking a break for March, 2020, as leaders across the state of California, including the Central Valley, try to stem the incidence of COVID-19 virus transmission. The governor of California has asked that events with 250 or more attendees be canceled. Readers can check the events page of the LA LGBT Center’s website and see that they have canceled their theater productions until further notice. Even Disneyland, the “Happiest Place on Earth,” has closed! News Link staff will once again offer information about statewide and local happenings once the state Department of Public Health clears the state for public events! Take care

ABPSAd.jpg
JStanleyAd.jpg
MCragheadAd.jpg
RainbowLockAd.jpg
PFLAG_bizcard_ad.png

Events

Anchor 10
In accordance with the CDC (Center for Disease Control) and the WHO (World Health Organization), the CITY OF FRESNO and surrounding counties have asked the public to not gather in group activities or events until further notice to help stop the spread of the COVID-19 virus. News Link staff will once again offer information about statewide and local happenings once the state Department of Public Health clears the state for public events.

Contact Us

P O Box 4959, Fresno, CA 93744

newslnk@aol.com  |  Tel: 559-266-5465

Success! Message received.

NEWSLINKNEW2021.jpg

News and happenings for, by, about and affecting the LGBT Valley.
Project of Community Link, Inc: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Service Organization. 
EST. September 1995

bottom of page